The number one thing I wish I had known sooner as a highly sensitive introvert? There is nothing “wrong” with being “too quiet” or “too sensitive”.
Sometimes I wonder how – or if – my life would have been different if I had known sooner that a extremely sensitive introvert. What memories would have been different? Would I have saved you a lot of heartache? So many questions…
I don’t think about these things because I’m not happy with my life. In fact, I could never think of a time when I was more at peace with who I am.
But it would have been wonderful to know that I was an introvert — and a sensitive one at that — much earlier. I could have told my younger self all about how to live a wonderful life—while staying true to who and using all their highly sensitive introverted powers to their advantage. Here are some things I wish I had known sooner.
5 things I wish I had known sooner as a highly sensitive introvert
1. There is nothing “wrong” with being “too quiet” or “too sensitive”.
When I was younger, I couldn’t help but think that there was something “wrong” with me. While others naturally formed many groups of friends, I could only connect with one or two at a time. While others enjoyed going to parties, I was happier staying at home (you prefer to read a book or simply compose a song).
If I had known that introverts (and many highly sensitive people) naturally crave — and need — “alone time,” I would have felt less guilty about being me. I wouldn’t have done it I forced myself to go to a party and socialize with people. And I didn’t pretend to like it when I secretly wished I was home (alone).
2. Being “different” can also mean being unique (in a good way).
Growing up, I couldn’t feel different from my peers – I was “different” in a “bad” sense. I just couldn’t enjoy the same things as my classmates, like going out all day or talking about things that didn’t interest me at all. (Chat it was talked about even when I was a child, and I knew it wasn’t for me!)
I wasn’t the one who hung around long after classes like the other kids. I think it was better to go home and study than to spend time doing nothing or not knowing what activities people are thinking of (which probably aren’t introverted friend anyway).
It would have been very comforting to know that “otherness” did not have to carry a negative connotation. Instead of the “weird” girl, I could have thought about how unique and special I was: I was good at focusing on projects, I liked living in my head, and I got energy after spending time alone. Plus my more sensitive side was great picking up little things and notices nuances that others have missed.
3. Highly sensitive introverts have their vulnerabilities, but they also have a lot of strengths.
I was very aware of my perceived “weaknesses” – well, what I was he believed to be a weakness at the time, such as “being too quiet” (which people often liked to tell me) and “too sensitive” (I felt things a very deep level). During our home sessions, many of my classmates told me that I should make more of an effort to reach out to people. (Easier said than done!)
How I hated those times. Instead of leaving school feeling better, I almost always felt worse. Why is it that people found it easy to point out what they didn’t like about me, but had a hard time noticing my good qualities?
Later in life, I realized that we introverts—and highly sensitive people—have the many strengths (contrary to what my elementary school classmates led me to believe). I wasn’t just the “shy” and “quiet” person that people thought was “weird” when I would sit in the corner and not talk to anyone. I was too the friend who could listen well to other people’s problems and understand – from the heart – what they wanted to say (even if it was not directly said; we are very sensitive Introverts are great at reading people through body language and nonverbal cues. I also think and feel deeply, so my level of empathy is high. And I’m careful with my words because I know all too well what it’s like to hurt. (Also, let’s not forget about my sensitive side, so I talk to others the way I want them to talk to me.)
Suffice it to say, as a highly sensitive introvert, there are so many positives – and I wish I had realized it sooner! But better late than never, right?
Have you ever struggled to know what to say?
Someone asks, “Why are you so quiet?” A co-worker corners me when you are exhausted. A friend strives to design it you don’t have the energy for it.
Later you think I wish I had said something.
I’ve been there too. That’s why I created it Confident introverted scripts.
That’s over 150 ready-to-use phrases time spent alone, protection of boundaries, energies, social life, etc. The guide is provided by feedback from therapists and introverted colleagues to make sure it really helps when your mind goes blank.
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4. Learning more about my highly sensitive – and introverted – nature could have helped me learn to manage my emotions better.
I’ve always considered myself a moody person, another negative trait I couldn’t get out of my head. Although I can be very patient, there have been times when my patience ran out and my temper seemed to come on suddenly.
I now realize that many of my previous “mood swings” were actually the result of not being able to recharge by finding some alone time. (Both introverts and highly sensitive souls benefit from this.)
For example, when I worked as a field auditor, I had to spend most of my time with teammates. In addition to being busy at work, we were also busy exploring the places we were assigned to. We used to do all kinds of activities like hiking, magic and traveling to distant tourist destinations.
I have to admit, I enjoyed a lot of our activities. But if I were to go back in time, I would have been much more conscious of not burning myself out trying to do too much. The more I did, the more my energy was depleted. I would have respected my personal limits better and found quality time to recharge earlier you feel completely exhausted.
5. Being a very sensitive introvert helps my writing.
I have always felt a passion for writing. when i grew up I thought it was “just a hobby” and loved to write poems and songs. I also kept a journal where I wrote my innermost thoughts. (Introverts and highly sensitive people alike love journal to process our emotions and feelings.)
Later in life I slowly figured out how my passion for writing can be more than a hobby. I realized how this could be a career that perfectly suited my personality. Through writing, I can reach people in my own unique way and influence the world around me.
Part of me wishes I’d known I could be a writer sooner: a job that’s ideal for a quiet person like me, and a place where I can finally find my voice. But – it’s never too late. 
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