Making room for moments of silence is just a small change that will be useful in your daily life as an introvert.
Many they are introverts they have difficulty fitting into society, especially when surrounded by extroverted people who don’t understand that they need less social interaction. After all, the world is designed to encourage socialization and lots of stimulation. There is an unspoken expectation to follow these social rules, but to be fair, we introverts don’t have to give up our sense of self to fit in.
Before I understood that I was an introvert, I struggled with socialization and relationships. I wasn’t as shy as my family, so navigating the world outside my home was confusing. I didn’t know the rules. I tried to fit in with extroverted people and I was able to relate to a degree. But in the meantime I needed time and space to rechargemany of my friends felt intimidated by it.
I didn’t know how to explain my needs to my friends, so for a while I ignored my needs and gave in to unrealistic expectations of myself. I met my husband in my early twenties, who is an extrovert, and I often said yes to him on trips when I should have said no.
Over time, I realized some major changes I needed to make in my life to make it more manageable. Essentially I had to stop “faking it” Accept my introversion and create a healthy balance between solitude and social life.
5 small changes introverts can make to improve their lives
1. Set clear boundaries relationships to protect your energy.
When I was younger, I was embarrassed by my introversion. I thought that asking people for space was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I didn’t realize that when I didn’t have a clear understanding of my own needs and boundaries, it was impossible to communicate them to others – so I had to learn how to advocate for myself in a small way.
Many people find it difficult to set boundaries at first, but you can start small. The easiest way to start is to set boundaries in situations where you are likely to be well received. Unfortunately, we all know family members or friends who don’t understand the word no. But when others know our limitations, it also helps them stand up for us.
Communicating your needs and boundaries will eventually happen makes you more confident in yourself and your space. For example, if you change your mind about a social outing, explain clearly but concisely why you don’t want to go. It’s okay to change your mind, but being clear about your intentions is essential so the other person doesn’t think you’re rejecting them. (Maybe you’re honestly just too tired after working all week, and that’s okay! No fake excuses needed.)
Another obstacle to watch out for is the result of poor communication. Some introverts tempt their friends when they want to say no. They may also force themselves to attend an event and have a terrible and exhausting experience.
Remember, people who care about you don’t want you to have a bad time. Communicating your needs is key – and it all starts with one small change (followed by another… and another).
Here are some more tips for setting better boundaries if you’re a peace-loving introvert.
Do you ever struggle to know what to say?
Someone asks, “Why are you so quiet?” A co-worker corners me when you are exhausted. A friend strives to plan you don’t have the energy for it.
Later he thinks I wish I had said something.
I’ve been there too. That’s why I created it Confident introverted scripts.
That’s over 150 ready-to-use phrases time spent alone, protection of boundaries, energies, social life, etc. The guide is provided by feedback from therapists and introverted colleagues to make sure it really helps when your mind goes blank.
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Click here to purchase the guide.
2. Schedule enough alone time – and stick to it.
In addition to communicating our needs and boundaries, we introverts also need to remember to take time alone—and actually schedule it. If you live alone, it’s probably easy find the necessary time for solitude. If you live with other people, it can be more difficult.
I live with my extroverted husband, introverted roommate, and two small children. We also have two dogs in the house who need love and attention. I’m lucky enough to work from home, so during the day I have time to take breaks, read or walk my dogs. I have an idea of everyone’s schedule, so I plan a lot of time to be alone.
Solving loneliness is harder when I’m very busy at work. Sometimes I start my tasks when my husband walks out the door and don’t finish them until he’s been home for an hour or two. This leaves me with less time to strive for myself, so I plan to make up the time the next day or discuss with my husband, I need some peaceso I go to bed early.
The most critical element of scheduling alone time is ensuring frequent recharge. If you’re feeling tired or scattered, you probably need to build some alone time into your schedule. Keep track of how often you need this solitude and plan ahead so you don’t feel drained and exhausted at the most inconvenient moments.
And if you’re wondering, here it is the science behind why introverts like to spend time alone.
3. Welcome silence, especially outside the house.
Voice control is more manageable at home, even if it’s not guaranteed. For example, at the time of writing this article, the construction work next door is loud and disturbing. I opened the windows to let in a nice breeze, so I need to rearrange the space for a quieter environment. Fortunately, we have these options at home, but it’s not so easy out in the wild.
You may need to commute to work or school. As a teenager, I traveled on a city bus, and as a university student on the university tram. Public transport can be a loud environment, so noise-cancelling headphones were essential. Sometimes I wasn’t listening to anything, but I still had the headphones on to calm myself down.
I worked in an office for a short time. People were relatively quiet, but I could still hear staff talking to customers on the phone in their booths. There was constant typing, coughing and other normal office noises. In order to conserve my energy, I needed noise-canceling headphones.
Most introverts are sensitive to soundstherefore, it is essential to make room for moments of silence. It’s a small change that will pay off big in your daily life. It may be that the welcome silence outside the house gives you the freedom to go out more often, for example for coffee in the middle of the day or to go shopping.
4. Take time to understand yourself more deeply through creative activities.
A significant advantage of being an introvert is that we tend to prioritize introspection. Introverts spend a lot of time analyzing themselves and others, which can empower them the best friend you will ever have.
However, in order for their inner development to continue, introverts must take time to explore their creativity. We are often drawn to creative pursuits anyway because it involves self-expression without talking to others (most of the time). Writing, drawing, painting, and other arts are passions of many introverts.
If you think you don’t have time to devote to creative tasks, try to find small examples that you can use to express yourself. Journal on holiday. Doo during meetings, especially if it helps you focus. Wake up early in the morning (or stay up late at night) to write fiction. Plan a painting night with your friends and work on individual projects. You get the idea…
Any creative endeavor helps you understand yourself more deeply, especially emotionally. Art acts as a vessel to solve our problems and utilizing creative activities will prove beneficial for introverted people.
5. Open yourself up to new experiences that challenge you.
This may be more challenging, but as an introvert you have to allow new experiences into your life. Above, I talked about how important it is to set clear boundaries with others and schedule time spent alone. Once these two steps are in place, it gives you the freedom to know when to say yes to new experiences—which ultimately offers greater perspective.
Let’s say you decide to try something new, e.g to travel alone. Traveling to unfamiliar places can be anxiety-inducing, so it’s imperative that you say yes to the right people and situations. Knowing when an activity is not for you is key, and having an escape or back-up plan ready is essential. Bring headphones or another activity if you need them. No matter how you approach it, it’s still beneficial for your life to try new things and see how you feel about them.
Start relatively small: go to a new coffee shop or try a different restaurant. Stop by that music venue you’ve passed a dozen times on your way home and always wondered about. Or explore the neighboring city or city. So, after enough local experience, you might be ready to book your ticket overseas.
There are many small ways to implement these new experiences that can improve your overall quality of life. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? 
