Sensitive people are at greater risk of burnout. Here’s how to actually strike a work-life balance—without looking unprofessional.
I have a confession to make: I sometimes work beyond the scheduled hours, doing paperwork and checking e-mails at home. It’s easy to do because there always seems to be one more thing to do and I want to be helpful. But as much as it helps others, this practice does not help meas it blurs the line between home and work – and often leaves you stressed and exhausted.
Lately, I’ve been trying to establish better boundaries between work and personal life. We all need boundaries between work and life, especially in our own overworked modern culturebut sensitive people—who often fall into the people-kinder and perfectionism traps – they especially need them.
This is tricky because while work-life balance is what we all strive for, work-life balance its borders more difficult to achieve. But they are vital to living a life free of overwhelm.
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What are the boundaries between work and personal life?
So what are the boundaries between work and personal life? According to MasterClass“(Work-life) boundaries are the rules and guidelines that employees themselves and human resources introduce for the company to draw a clear line between professional and private life.” These rules look different for everyone, but at their core they are lines we draw to say, “This is work” and “this is not work, this is something else (of our choosing”). Humans are not machines after all, we were not designed to work all the time.
Boundaries between work and personal life are important. THE Study made in 2020 In the Netherlands, they found that blurring the lines between work and private life resulted in lower happiness and overall health among professionals. A blurring of the balance between work and private life may also occur affects our relationships at homeespecially with romantic partners. But setting boundaries can involve some conflict, or at least some anxiety about conflict. And HSPs famously hate conflict (and it can they are more prone to anxiety).
So what’s an overworked HSP to do?
How to define your own work and life boundaries
The first step at least according to For business writer Sean Peek, it’s figuring out what you want ideal work life look (keeping in mind, of course, that there is no ideal position). The necessary boundaries naturally arise from this ideal.
Controlling your environment
This balance will look different for everyone, as everyone has different needs for their work. However, sensitive people generally are are more prone from occupational burnout, and if you work in a “helping” profession such as teaching or healthcare, you are more prone to compassion fatigue toocompared to our neurotypical colleagues. We used to too prefers a calm, stable environment. (It is caused by the chaotic environment all applied stress and anxietybut HSPs feel these things more strongly than others, thanks to us extra deep sensory processing.) This means that as a sensitive person, your ideal work life is likely to include working in a more relaxed physical environment or being able to control your own environment – and if you work in a stressful or helping profession, you may spend a lot of downtime and non-work time to combat fatigue.
Finding meaningful work
They are also very sensitive people wants meaningful work, and they really want to believe that they are making a difference with their work. We don’t like showing up to work just to get paid! (Incidentally, so are many such “meaningful” jobs the most draining roles for HSPs (since they require a lot of empathy and attention to the needs of others.) Doing this more meaningful but demanding work may mean setting firmer boundaries on your time or what kind of company culture you’ll tolerate.
A practical guide to finding your ideal job if you follow Richard Nelson Bolles’ advice in his book What color is your parachute? Bolles advises listing every job you’ve ever held, then listing the pros and cons of that job. What did you like – the hours, the people you worked with, the pay, the nature of the work? And what did you do? not love – maybe the commute, a micromanaging boss, overtime or extra hours? Once done, compile the pros and cons into a master list. You can’t get everything you want, but your list may reveal huge trade-offs. For example, maybe you thought you were just burned out on the industry, but you’ll actually be happy until you lose the long commute. Or maybe you were perfectly happy in a very demanding role when you had a supportive boss and you need to look to that to keep you going.
Beware of overloading
Another issue to consider when it comes to your ideal work balance is how much extra effort you put in. HSPs are notorious perfectionists, sometimes quite so dangerously overworked. After all, we want to do a good job, and there’s nothing wrong with that—as long as it doesn’t get in the way of your health and happiness. As my therapist once asked, “Are you okay with being a pretty good work and leave at the end of the day, or do you waste energy trying to be perfect?” Sometimes “good enough” really is good enough.
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Make the necessary changes in your career
Once you’ve figured out what you want your ideal work-life balance to look like, conflict may arise. But the good news is that you can start by making a few small changes to your work routine. For example, if your company offers voluntary overtime, say no. In most cases, no amount of money is worth your mental health. (If you feel like you’re letting the company down, don’t. It’s their responsibility to hire enough employees to do all the work.) Another small change I’ve personally found very helpful is to refrain from checking email on my day off. Whatever it is, it will wait until my next business day.
There some evidence suggest that working from home or hybrid may be beneficial for HSPs as they can organize their day better, avoiding interruptions and allowing time for deep thinking. If your company allows it, give it a try. If not, ask your supervisor if you can look into something. Approach this conversation from the perspective that you want to do your best work and contribute the most to the company, and explain why a few days of remote work will help you do that.
Many health care providers also find it a way of working that best suits their needs starting your own business or does freelance work. However, entering the business world can be overwhelming for many, due to its extroverted tendencies (I was certainly scared in my first Entrepreneurship course, worried that I wouldn’t fit in or fit in.) HSP therapist and expert Julie Bjelland offers resources for HSPs looking to start their own businesses. here.
Other small steps you can take to create work-life boundaries?
- If you work from home in any capacity, make sure you create a space dedicated solely to work so that work and home life remain separate both physically and mentally. Many people find it stressful if their kitchen table serves as an office desk.
- If you’re an office worker (remote or in-person), make sure you take breaks from work tasks like email and Zoom meetings at the end of the day and week.
- Make room in your schedule to recharge from work. This is important to all of us, but it’s proven true for HSPs you need more rest and downtime for best performance. Don’t risk scheduled downtime due to commitments and inviting friends and coworkers.
- When the work day is over, stop working. Many corporate cultures today tend to allow workers to stay well past 5 o’clock without extra compensation. Be the first to buck this trend—it’s unlikely to harm you in the long run, and improving your health will more than pay off.
- Find a mentor in your career or a related field. According to Andre Sólo, co-author of the bestselling book SensitiveHSPs benefit from the “Boost Effect” when they have support and resources: they fly much higher than less sensitive people with the same support. A mentor is a great way to activate the Boost Effect in your own life and shape your career to fit your boundaries.
Enforcing your boundaries
Once you’ve set your boundaries around work and work-life balance, how do you stick to them? It’s tempting to compromise your boundaries when coworkers or your boss ask for help beyond the job description, “just now.” And don’t you want to help people? But your boundaries are there for a reason and they are important.
suggests Bjelland paraphrasing how you say no. Instead of thinking about how you disappoint someone else, think about how you say no to yourself. Asserting your boundaries means saying yes to yourself and your needs. And if you respect your work-life balance, or even just less stress at work, you’ll end up doing better work, which will benefit your work.
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