Many years ago, I distinctly remember celebrating a strange victory. I just spent a day overthinking a problem.
I was triggered by the end of another situation. I could feel them pulling away. Something had changed, but I didn’t know the answers. I was stuck in that painful uncertainty.
That day I did what I always do. I replayed the conversations in my head, looking for hidden meanings, imagining different scenarios, and mentally rehearsing what I would say if I could turn back time. I looked at my phone more times than I could count and searched YouTube for answers. By the end of the day, I was mentally exhausted, but as usual, no closer to the answer.
What made this time feel like a victory was that the spiral only lasted one day. That may seem like a long time, but for me, I knew it was progress. My usual habit was to spend a week or more on a single problem (or a single person).
I remember thinking, “If I can get it down to one day, I can certainly get it down to less.” This inner knowledge ended up changing everything. And as it turns out, I could.
Potential rejection, ambiguous people, mistakes, and uncertainty were my biggest triggers. Every time they popped up, I spiraled and found myself completely consumed by my thoughts, meaning I often felt anxious, anxious and desperate for answers.
Although from the outside I somehow really seemed like the confident friend and colleague he was with.
To deal with it, I would try to solve the problem in my head, talk about it endlessly with certain people, research and check things endlessly, and analyze the situation from every conceivable angle. No matter how much I thought, I rarely felt better.
Finally, after losing myself too many times and doing soul searching, I became aware of my mental habits and how they affect me. I knew something had to change. I was able to step back enough to see that I was spending too much time in my own head and that was causing me trouble. I labeled myself a professional overthinker.
Recognizing overthinking is a victory. This means that you have become aware of this all-consuming habit from autopilot mode and stuck in your head.
However, in my experience, many people who openly call themselves professional overthinkers do not feel able to stop a spiral.
A key part of overcoming overthinking is recognizing the specific overthinking styles we fall into.
Overthinking styles are different ways of overthinking. They are not about the exact content of your thoughts, but about the pattern your mind follows when it gets stuck.
Here are seven overthinking styles. Which one or two do you relate to the most?
Concern
Your mind fast forwards to all the things that could go wrong in the future. You don’t just imagine problems and worst-case scenarios, you plan and try to prepare or prevent them, and this is most often associated with hypothetical “what if” scenarios.
Helpful question: Is this a real problem I need to deal with now or a hypothetical worry my mind is trying to prepare for?
Rumination
This is when your mind goes back to the past again and again. You remember things that upset you, or you try to make sense of what happened. Replays conversations, decisions or mistakes and tries to figure things out. In this case, you analyze what you should have said or done differently and why things went the way they did.
A useful question: am I learning something new or am I replaying the same information?
Hazard monitoring
You’ll know this is happening when you feel like you’re on heightened alert. This is you if you are a person who examines your inner or outer world to see if something is wrong. Instead of settling into situations, you’re always on the lookout for signs of danger, rejection, or things going wrong, even in the mundane.
Internally, you notice any feeling or mood and believe that something bad is happening, and externally look for signs and red flags.
Helpful reminder: Just because my mind is looking for a threat doesn’t mean it exists.
Fix-It mode
This masquerades as positive (and sometimes it can be). This is when you feel like you need to fix your thoughts or feelings immediately, as if you are a problem that needs to be fixed.
You don’t just sit in uncertainty. You start to analyze it from all sides, convince yourself of different explanations, consider all the alternatives and try to “make up your mind” about the right answer.
It can even become over-the-top self-help, where you endlessly try to come up with the perfect mindset or solution, but end up focusing on the root cause instead of feeling better or moving forward.
Useful question: What if I didn’t have to solve this right now?
Self-criticism
We are our own worst critics. In such cases, you give yourself a hard time, put yourself down and discard your own values. Instead of just noticing a mistake, change, or problem, your mind begins to judge it and tell you that you should have done better or that there is something wrong with you because of it, and it’s usually merciless.
Useful question: If I were a friend, would I talk to him like this?
Self-focused attention
It’s an interesting, and for me, strong crossover with threat monitoring. In essence, it becomes very self-aware.
This style is when your attention turns too much inward. Instead of being present in the moment, you become hyper-aware of yourself—how you come across, what you say, or how others perceive you.
You may wonder if you seem intelligent enough, if you are clumsy, if you talk too much, or if the other person likes you. In social situations, you may feel that you are constantly being watched by other people’s eyes.
Helpful Action: Gently direct your attention outward to the present moment and your surroundings.
Intrusive thoughts
This style involves thoughts, images, urges, or mental scenarios that seem to pop into your mind out of nowhere. They can be strange, unpleasant, confusing, or even disturbing. One moment you’re going about your day, and the next your mind throws an intrusive thought at you.
Intrusive thoughts are a normal part of human existence. Almost everyone experiences them from time to time. However, some people have an intrusive thought, find it odd, and move on. Others get hung up on it, and that’s when overthinking takes over.
Helpful reminder: A thought is not a fact or a reflection of who I am.
If you read through the seven styles, you may recognize yourself in one, several or all of them. This is completely normal. There is no simple right/wrong, and there is certainly no right/wrong. The goal is never to perfectly categorize overthinking. Instead, it’s to use it as a tool to understand the patterns your mind tends to fall into or move between.
I truly believe that once you recognize your overthinking style, you can begin to break out of it, or at least respond to it in a more helpful way by finding the right strategies and interventions for that pattern.
Next time you’re in a spiral, pull up this list and ask: Wis this the overthinking hat? This question alone is often enough to break the mental loop and return to yourself and the moment. The moment of realization may seem small, but it’s often the first real step out of autopilot and back into control of your own mind.
I used to celebrate just spending one day overthinking a situation. It usually doesn’t take that long now. The main difference is that I notice it much earlier and recognize it for what it is: a familiar overthinking style, not something I need to fix or fix.
About Carly Ann
Carly Ann is an online psychotherapist and podcast host who specializes in self-esteem. She works with people who seem happy but struggle with self-confidence, anxiety and repetitive patterns in relationships or social situations. Carly Ann helps people understand the deeper roots of their problems, break unhelpful cycles, and build stronger confidence and self-esteem. He is passionate about sharing tools and insights that many of us have never been taught. Website / Instagram / Podcast: Lessons on Self-Esteem
