People may think that introverts are “quiet”, but they are also very capable of being confident and feeling themselves. Here’s how.
Trust plays a big role in what we believe and how we act.
As an introvert, I find that confidence is sometimes hard to come by. This can happen in a number of ways, whether you’re in a meeting and someone starts talking over you, or your boss asks you to answer a question you’re not ready to answer.
The good news is that over the years I’ve found a few ways to help improve my confidence. I call it the “Boost or Build” strategy.
The “Boost” strategy is used when you need to show your confidence in a short period of time, and it usually works in the short term. The confidence you feel it won’t take long. The “Build” strategy is used when we want to achieve permanent and solid self-confidence that does not fade over time.
First, let’s talk about the “Boost” strategy.
4 ways to boost your short-term confidence as an introvert
1. Remember a moment when you were confident and at your best.
Think back to a time when you felt really confident. Ask yourself some key questions: What did you do? Who were you at that moment? Where is that feeling now? Does it have weight, temperature, consistency, shape or smell? What skills, talents, and strengths did you use in this situation? How can you use them in the current situation?
Just looking at a confident moment from the past can dramatically boost your confidence. The key to making this method work is to relive the moment using your five senses and recall the feeling you experienced. People may think that introverts are “quiet,” but they are also fierce and you can feel very confident!
2. Talk to yourself either in the mirror or while walking.
If you have doubts and feel uncertain, talk to yourself in the mirror. I know it sounds silly, but don’t be shy.
I do this exercise very often, and my favorite question is to ask myself, “Now who are you choosing to be?” And then I will answer as honestly as possible.
An alternative to the mirror exercise is to go for a walk and talk to myself along the way. Nature recharges introverted people anyway, it’s a win-win!
You’ll be surprised how much new insight you gain by simply speaking your thoughts out loud.
It might sound crazy to some, and what I did at the beginning was I put the headphones in – no music – and pretend I was talking to someone on the phone.
But now I don’t care, I just talk and walk. The more confident you become, the less you care about how you look.
3. Find your confidence, from motivational books to speeches.
Sound has a special power. Every time I listen to it Steve Jobs speech in 2005 at Stanford University, I get huge motivation and self-confidence. I also have a playlist on my phone that has a lot of motivational songs.
What kind of confidence can you give yourself? Maybe songs, speeches, podcasts, certain books or audiobookspictures and so on. Find a few triggers and make them available to use whenever – wherever – you need them.
Download them to your phone, upload them to the Cloud, save them to your computer, print them, put them on your wall – do whatever it takes to remind yourself, “Don’t lose the fight and don’t dim the light.”
4. Get into a “power pose”.
The well known Amy Cuddy’s TED talk made people aware of the direct effect of body language – specifically the “strong pose”. Try it out. Raise your hands in the air, spread them apart, or lie back and put your feet on the table. Do you feel that your self-confidence has increased?
So now that we’ve talked about modes momentum trust in the short term, let’s talk about long-term building methods.
Below are the four strategies I use to build long-term trust.
Have you ever struggled to know what to say?
Someone asks, “Why are you so quiet?” A co-worker corners me when you are exhausted. A friend strives to design it you don’t have the energy for it.
Later he thinks I wish I had said something.
I’ve been there too. That’s why I created it Confident introverted scripts.
That’s over 150 ready-to-use phrases time spent alone, protection of boundaries, energies, social life, etc. The guide is provided by feedback from therapists and introverted colleagues to make sure it really helps when your mind goes blank.
40% discount For introverts, Dear Readers. Use the code TRUST at the checkout.
Click here to purchase the guide.
4 ways to boost your long-term confidence as an introvert
1. Journaling and writing down your “wins” every day.
No one wants you to feel like crap about your day and yourself; however, many of us do exactly that every day. We look at all the uncrossed items on our to-do list instead of the crossed ones and worry about the things we haven’t done instead of being proud of what we have. We tend to regret the past and worry about the future.
If we never say to ourselves, “You can do it!” – how can we build self-confidence?
Start by reminding yourself of how capable you are and how many wonderful things you have done. At the end of each day magazine and write down at least three things you did well that day. (Even the little things count!)
You may have taken time to walk. Or maybe because you complimented a colleague that made their day. Or maybe it was as small as when he consciously took a deep breath. (Mindfulness and meditation are great ways to get grounded in the present until times when we feel like we’re losing focus.)
By tracking your small victories every day, it will help you stay motivated and help you build confidence towards your next life goal.
2. Learn from your failures.
No matter how competent or confident you are, at some point you will make mistakes and fail. If you keep this in mind, you will be face any challenge more confidently I have it.
If the mistake was inevitable, just learn from it. This way you learn not to be afraid of mistakes and you become much more confident in trying new things (no matter how challenging or difficult they may be).
3. Say, “A challenge a day builds confidence, day and night.”
Try saying, “A challenge a day builds confidence, day and night.” Catchy, right?
Self-confidence is based on belief: “I believe I can do it.” Positive affirmations are popular for a reason – they work.
Every day I say to myself: “I am confident.” But in reality, I’m still not sure. I’m sure my confirmation isn’t working…
But the problem isn’t the positive reinforcement, it’s your belief. When you say, “I’m confident and I can do it,” do you really believe that you are confident and can do it?
There’s probably a part of your brain that’s trying to tell you, “That’s a big lie! I’m not confident at all! I can’t do it!” So you sabotage yourself. I get it – it’s hard to blindly believe what he says. (It is much easier to believe in what you see and experience.)
For your positive reinforcement to work, you need to prove yourself with something that you consistently achieve, that you find challenging. That’s why I recommend taking on a little challenge every day. It shouldn’t be something that requires too much effort. Choose an achievable challenge. For example, commit to going for a walk every day, all week, or to stop talking on the phone an hour before bed (maybe make this part of your evening routine).
Start small. The point is to plant the seed in your mind that, “I believe what I say, and what I say comes true.” So when you say, “I trust Him” every day, you begin to believe in Him.
4. Be extremely good at what you do.
Confidence varies depending on which area of our life we are talking about. You may be completely insecure in one area, but completely confident in another. As you probably know, the key to being confident in a field is to be extremely good at anything (writing, planningor what about you). Knowing that you are good will definitely make you more confident.
They say, “Knowledge is power,” but I say, “Knowledge is power only when applied.”
Now that you have learned how to increase and build your confidence, what is the one step you can take in the next 24 hours to improve your confidence level? Feel free to add it in the comments below! 
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