I was sitting in the back seat of a car, driving through an unfamiliar city, my face pressed against the window, wondering where I was, when I woke up with a wet nose pressed against mine. I opened my eyes to find a pair of golden orbs looking back at me saying, “Let’s go. Time to eat!”
Yes, I am the mother of a ginger cat named Berty and his sister Wednesday, and they have taught me a lot about self-care during my years of wisdom. The lessons got pretty cut and dry:
Stock and establish clear boundaries so that each party knows the rules of healthy engagement.
If I try to pick up one of my cats when she doesn’t want to be held, I get a loud meow or a slap on my arm. They know exactly how to say “No!” without apology or guilt.
Ask for what you want directly and deal with the results.
Cats don’t negotiate. They let you know what they need and then deal with the consequences. If Berty wants to play when I’m busy, he meows at my feet and when I don’t get up to throw a ball, he goes off on his own, finds a toy, and hits it around.
Be curious about everything, because you never know where you will find joy.
If you’ve been the lucky carer of a pet, you know how masters they are at finding their joy in the most unexpected places – the back of a sock drawer, in the middle of a pile of freshly laundered clothes, in a rolled up piece of paper, or in a leftover box or bag. This morning Wednesday squeezed into a 12” x 4” box and stayed there for over an hour watching the world go by. I swear he was smiling.
Respect other people’s boundaries. Don’t give what they don’t ask for.
One of the biggest lessons I’m learning is how to let go of someone’s pain or discomfort without interfering. For example, if Berty is trying to expel a furball, the last thing he wants is to be picked up or petted. He wants to be left alone to do his work. I am learning to witness the discomfort without interfering unless invited.
Play every chance you get.
Okay, this might be the biggest lesson of all 😀.
Happy Mother’s Day to those who give to children, pets, friends, family, communities and the world. Be queen for a day (actually for life!).
Love,
Cheryl
