Highly sensitive people often receive harsh judgment from the people around us. But what message are you giving yourself?
Twenty years ago I first came through Dr. Elaine Aron’s book, The highly sensitive person. I was 32 at the time and working part-time in a prison rehabilitating criminals. I also completed a five-year counseling qualification course at the college. One training day, a fellow student handed me a copy of the book and said, “You should read this; I think you’re an HSP.” Turns out he was right – I am definitely a very sensitive person.
Up to that point I was just convinced that there was something “wrong” with meas I felt completely different from my friends and family. I was often told that I was “too sensitive” and I noticed that I processed my emotions much more deeply than others and for longer periods of time. I seemed to absorb other people’s emotions and often felt completely drained or drained after being with certain people. Not to mention, I would pick up on tidbits that others weren’t aware of. Environmental and sensory stimuli, such as too much noise or crowded spaces, can cause frustration—and I have to. retreat to nature or seek solitude to recover and recharge.
After reading the book, it felt like someone turned on a light and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was finally convinced of who I was and that there really wasn’t anything “wrong”: I was just a very sensitive person.
The science behind high sensitivity
While everyone is sensitive to some degree, some of us are more sensitive than others. In fact, roughly 30 percent of people are born more sensitive than the average person—and it shows both physically and emotionally. (For reference, approximately 40 percent of people have average sensitivity, while 20 percent have low sensitivity.) Researchers call this trait environmental sensitivity or sensory processing sensitivity. And don’t worry – all three levels of environmental sensitivity are considered completely healthy and normal.
If someone falls on the upper end of the sensitivity continuum, they are called “highly sensitive people” (HSP). They are often deeply attuned to their physical surroundings and the emotions and feelings of others. This is where a high level of empathy comes into play. They often have remarkable intuition, think deeply, and pick up fine details more easily than others. They can also be particularly sensitive to textures, noises, and other everyday things in the environment that don’t seem to affect others. And some researchers believe that high sensitivity is related to talent. HSPs’ sensitive natures don’t just go away—they’re born that way, though they can learn to handle overstimulating situations.
Which brings me to how positive affirmations have helped me better manage—and accept—my sensitivity.
How positive affirmations helped me accept my sensitivity
During college, I got another book recommendation, this time about positive reinforcement. At that time, we did experiential learning about therapeutic “mirror work”, during which one looks at oneself in the mirror and let’s say a positive affirmation out loud. In other words, a positive, affirming statement. You can say “I love you” or “You are beautiful”. The idea is to repeat affirmations frequently to challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts and beliefs (many of which you don’t even know). And they can do it with regular daily practice (for a minimum of 21 days). it helps to permanently change a person’s way of thinking and you feel it. Through repetition, statements become embedded in the subconscious. And eventually, the negative thoughts and beliefs fade as the new positive thoughts become more believable and authentic.
While you can say and repeat the affirmations in your head, or even write them down, many experts recommend saying them out loud, as saying them out loud gives the words power. Some people also find that looking in the mirror while saying the affirmation affects how effective the affirmation is. Another benefit of mirror work is that it can help with self-love issues.
given, positive reinforcements it’s not a “quick fix” – you don’t just recite these affirmations for a few days and suddenly have tons of self-esteem and a positive mindset. They take a job. Research he has found that they can help reinforce his values, and they can Help rewires negative beliefs. Psychologists often have clients do themalso for many reasons, from boosting their confidence and self-esteem to getting used to turning any negative self-talk into positive self-talk.
I have to admit, I didn’t find the mirror work and affirmations easy because I had low self-esteem and self-love at the time. During the break, one of the students told how he had already started doing mirror work at home. She told us that although she initially struggled to look at her reflection, she hated the way she looked and he didn’t feel well enough – repeated certain positive affirmations over and over, even though at first it seemed “fake”. After a few weeks, her confidence grew and she began to develop a sense of self-love and self-esteem.
After reading the book she recommended, I began to question my own negative thoughts and beliefs about myself and my sensitivity. And I also started practicing positive affirmations. It made a huge difference in how I felt about myself. My self-esteem also increased, and I was promoted to a senior management position at my workplace that same year.
I also started implementing many self-help strategies – one “HSP mental health toolkit”, kind of – to better manage my sensitivities in the prison environment. Throughout this journey, I began to recognize and embrace the wonderful gifts, qualities, and abilities associated with sensitivity. And I knew focus on what makes me happy as an HSP. Furthermore, I no longer felt like I had to “hide” my authentic self or my natural intuitive abilities.
During this period, I also established a part-time private counseling and spiritual healing practice specializing in working with HSPs. And I recommend using positive affirmations for my clients, especially if they struggle with negative self-talk or self-love issues.
Based on my own personal and professional experience, I have found that there are universal ones negative beliefs and thoughts that many HSPs struggle with. So I started putting together a collection of 100 positive affirmations to help HSPs feel more empowered. Here are seven of the most popular that my clients and workshop participants have used over the years.
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The 7 most powerful things an HSP can say to themselves
1. “My sensitivity is my greatest strength.”
One of the most important steps in the HSP’s self-reliance development journey is understand their great sensitivity then we will paraphrase certain aspects of it. When they embrace their sensitivity, see it as a gift, and recognize the beautiful qualities associated with it, they realize that sensitivity is their greatest strength, not (at all) their greatest weakness.
2. “I love and accept myself exactly as I am.”
This affirmation helps HSPs transform thoughts and beliefs that feel “wrong” or not good enough. Some HSPs with self-love issues may struggle with this affirmation at first, so they may start with, “I’m learning to love and accept myself exactly as I am,” and then move on to, “I love and accept myself exactly as I am.”
3. “I learn to listen to my body and my own needs. I choose to feed myself.”
This affirmation helps HSPs who do not prioritize their own self-care, or who often feel overwhelmed or insecure. Setting boundaries can be challenging for HSPsbut essential to their emotional and physical well-being.
4. “My self-esteem and self-worth are not based on the opinions of others.”
This confirmation in particular effective for HSPs who criticized itthey are judged or ridiculed – either because others have labeled them “too sensitive” or when it comes to other areas of their lives.
5. “I am good enough, I am worthy, and I deserve the best.”
This statement is beneficial for HSPs whose sensitive nature was not nurtured or understood in childhood and carried over into adulthood. Or for those who have self-esteem issues.
6. “I respect and honor myself by having healthy boundaries.”
HSPs kind, compassionate, caring people. But they can often be used because they are natural empaths and “taxes”. If they don’t have strong boundaries, they often attract “takers,” or people who can be controlling, manipulative, or overly needy. they are narcissists or gas lighters.
7. “I am part of a worldwide community of highly sensitive people.”
This affirmation is helpful for HSPs who feel they are different from their family or friends, or for those who feel isolated or lonely because no one “gets” them or sees them for who they really are. It is important for sensitive people to know and remember that about a third of the population is made up of people like them. And that there are many HSP groups on social media such as communities like the Highly Sensitive Refugewhere they can feel like they “belong” and connect with other like-minded souls.
Mel’s insights and 100 related positive affirmations can be found in her latest book, Positive reinforcement for sensitive people.
Would you like to receive individual help from a trained therapist? We have personally used it and recommend it BetterHelp for therapy with real benefits for HSPs. It’s private, affordable, and online. BONUS: As a Sensitive Refuge reader, you get 10% off your first month. Click here for more information.
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