Today, three children, two girls and a boy, came from the village to play with Thanh Thuy (pronounced Tahn Tui). All four of them ran off to play on the hillside behind our house and were gone for about an hour when they came back to ask for a drink. I took the last bottle of homemade apple juice and gave each one a glass, serving Thuy last. Since the juice was from the bottom of the bottle, it had pulp in it. When he noticed the particles, he sulked and refused to drink. So the four children went back to play on the hillside and Thuy did not drink anything.
Half an hour later, while meditating in my room, I heard him calling. Thuy wanted to get herself a glass of cold water, but she couldn’t even reach the faucet with her toes. I reminded him of the glass of juice on the table and asked him to drink it first. He turned to look and saw that the pulp had settled and the juice looked clear and delicious. He walked over to the table and took the glass with both hands. After drinking half of it, he put it down and asked, “Is that another glass, Uncle Monk?” (a common expression for Vietnamese children when addressing an elder monk).
“No,” I replied. “It’s the same as before. It sat quietly for a while and now it’s clean and delicious.” Thuy looked at the bottle again. “It’s really good.” Did he meditate like you, monk uncle? I laughed and patted his head. “Suppose I imitate apple juice when I sit; that’s closer to the truth.”
Thuy no doubt thought that the apple juice had stopped for a while to clear itself, as did Uncle Monk. “Did he meditate like you?” I believe that Thanh Thuy, who is not yet five years old, understands the meaning of meditation without any explanation. The apple juice cleared up after a little rest. In the same way, if we rest for a while in meditation, we also clear it. This purity refreshes, gives strength and serenity. As we refresh ourselves, our environment also refreshes itself. Children like to be around us, not just to get candy and hear stories. They like to be around us because they feel this “freshness”.
We have a guest tonight. I fill a glass with the last of the apple juice and place it on the table in the middle of the meditation room. Thuy is already fast asleep and I invite my friend to sit very quietly, just like the apple juice.
A river of perceptions
We sit for about forty minutes. I notice my friend smiling as he looks at his juice. It became very clear. “And you, my friend, are you? Even if you haven’t settled down as thoroughly as apple juice, don’t you feel a little less excited, less excited, less confused? The smile hasn’t faded from your lips yet, but I think you doubt you’ll be as clean as apple juice, even if we sit for hours.
“The base of the glass of juice is very stable. But you, your seat is not so secure. Those little pieces of pulp only have to follow the laws of nature to fall gently to the bottom of the glass. But your thoughts do not obey this law. On the contrary, they buzz feverishly like a swarm of bees, and you think that you cannot rest like an apple.
“You tell me that humans, living beings capable of thinking and feeling, cannot be compared to a glass of juice. I agree, but I also know that we can do what apple juice does, and more. We can be at peace, not only while sitting, but also while walking and working.
“Maybe you don’t believe me because it’s been forty minutes and you’ve tried so hard but you haven’t been able to achieve the peace you hoped for. Thuy is sleeping peacefully, breathing. Why don’t we light one more candle before we continue our conversation?
“Little Thuy sleeps easily like this. You know those nights when you avoid sleep, and the harder you try to sleep, the less you can. You try to force yourself to be peaceful, and you feel the resistance inside you. It’s the same kind of resistance that many people feel during their first meditation experience. The more they try to calm themselves, the more restless they become, but this is demonic resistance, but the more restless they become, because the Vietnamese they believe that this is bad karma.Our thoughts and feelings flow in the wake of our efforts to be peaceful, if we try to stop the flow of the river.
The practice of meditation is that this sun always shines within us, illuminating every stream, pebble, every bend of the river.
“Remember that the river must flow, and we will follow it. We must be aware of every little stream that connects. We must be aware of every thought, feeling, and sensation that arises within us—their birth, duration, and disappearance. See? Now the resistance begins to disappear. The river of perceptions still flows. The sunlight still flows in the darkness. The sun always shines within us, illuminating the streams, the pebbles, every bend of the river, this is the practice of meditation, above all observing and following these details.
“In the moment of awareness, we feel in control, although the river is still there, still flowing. We feel peaceful, but it is not apple juice ‘peace’. Being at peace does not mean that our thoughts and feelings are frozen. Being at peace is not the same as anesthesia. A peaceful mind does not mean that the mind, thoughts, emotions are empty.”
Sunlight and green leaves
Beginner meditators usually believe that they must suppress all thoughts and feelings (often called the “false mind”) in order to create conditions conducive to concentration and understanding (the so-called “true mind”). They use methods such as focusing their attention on an object or counting their breaths to try to block out thoughts and feelings. Focusing on the object and counting the breath are excellent methods, but should not be used to suppress or suffocate. We know that as soon as there is oppression, there is rebellion—oppression begets rebellion. The true mind and the false mind are one. The denial of one is the denial of the other. The suppression of one is the suppression of the other. Our mind is ourselves. We cannot suppress it. We must treat them with respect, gentleness and absolute non-violence. Since we don’t even know what our “self” is, how do we know if it’s true or false and if it should be suppressed or what? The only thing we can do is let the sunlight of awareness shine on our ‘self’ and illuminate it so that we can look directly at it.
Just as flowers and leaves are only part of a plant, and just as waves are only part of the ocean, so too are sensations, feelings, and thoughts only parts of the self. Flowers and leaves are natural manifestations of plants, and waves are natural manifestations of oceans. It’s no use trying to suppress or suppress them. This is impossible. We can only observe them. Because they exist, we can find their source, which is exactly the same as our own.
Since we don’t even know what our “self” is, how do we know if it’s true or false and if it should be suppressed or what?
The day of awareness comes from the heart of the self. It allows the self to illuminate itself. It not only illuminates every thought and feeling present. It lights up by itself.
Let’s return to the apple juice, let’s “rest” quietly. The river of our perception still flows, but now, in the sunlight of awareness, it flows peacefully and we are calm. The relationship between the river of perceptions and the sun of consciousness is not the same as that of the actual river and the actual sun. Whether it is midnight or noon, whether the sun is absent or its piercing rays are beaming down, the waters of the Mississippi River flow more or less the same. But when the sun of awareness shines upon the river of our perception, the mind is transformed. The river and the sun are of the same nature.
Consider the relationship between the color of leaves and sunlight, which are also of the same nature. At midnight, starlight and moonlight reveal only the shapes of trees and leaves. But if the sun suddenly came out, the green color of the leaves would immediately appear. The tender green of April leaves exists because sunlight exists. One day, sitting in a forest, imitating the Prajna Paramita Heart SutraI wrote:
Sunlight is green leaves
Green leaves are sunny
Sunlight is no different from green leaves
Green leaves are no different from sunlight
The same is true for all shapes and colors.
As soon as the day of awareness dawns, at that moment a great change takes place. Meditation allows the day of awareness to rise easily to see more clearly. When we meditate, we seem to have two selves. One is the flowing river of thoughts and feelings, and the other is the sun of awareness shining upon them. Which is our own self? Which one is true? Which one is fake? Which one is good? Which one is wrong? Please calm down my friend. Put down the sharp sword of conceptual thinking. Don’t be so quick to split your ‘self’. Both are themselves. Neither is true. None of them are fake. Both are true and false.
We know that light and color are not separate phenomena. In the same way, the sun of the self and the river of the self are not different from each other. Sit next to me, smile on your lips, let your sun shine, close your eyes if you need to see yourself more clearly.
All I said was put down the sword of conceptualization and don’t cut your self into pieces. You really couldn’t even if you wanted to. Think you can separate the sunshine from the green color of the leaves? You can no longer separate the observing self from the observed self.
♦
adapted from The everyday magic of meditation © 2026 edited by John Welwood. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc. Boulder, CO. www.shambhala.com
