The channel between friends and lovers—or the canon event where two long-term friends go on a date—has long been a beloved romantic trope. There’s a reason they love movies When Harry Met Sally and My best friend’s wedding they have stood the test of time. But in an era where 78% of singles report Due to dating app burnout, many people no longer see it as just a story, but as a possible solution to their single status.
Pursuing a romantic relationship with a friend is not just about the endless swiping and talking that defines it application based courtshipbut it can also offer a lower-pressure path to romantic connection, says Carolina Pataky, PhD, LMFT, sexologist and co-founder of the South Florida Society. Love Discovery Institutesays SELF. While online dating requires you to gauge chemistry and compatibility, turning from friends to partners allows attraction to develop over time, often in a more grounded and sustainable way, she says.
More than just an antidote dating app fatigue, “dating as a friend has a built-in foundation that most app-based relationships have to build,” said sex and dating expert Nicole McNichols, a professor of human sexuality at the University of Washington and author of the book. You can have better sexsays SELF. “You already know how that person communicates, how they deal with stress, what their values are, and how they play out in everyday life.” That kind of insight can predict long-term compatibility, but it’s often difficult to gauge early in a Bumble chat, he says.
And that’s just part of it. Experts break down in advance why this switch can be so fascinating, and offer tips on the “Wait…I’m having feelings?” careful moments.
Why can dating friends work?
Going from friends to lovers gives us the gift of time and context in a way that other origin stories just don’t—or can’t!
You start with the relationship rather than a checklist.
“When you meet someone on an app, there’s often an implicit sense of evaluation—both trying to present their best selves while assessing whether the other person meets your criteria,” explains Dr. McNichols. If you’ve ever felt like someone is running you through their mental checklist on a first date, you know that this dynamic is about as fun as colonoscopy. And it’s not good to be on the other side either: you want to be present and relaxed on a date, not the compatibility points. However, when romance is built from a friendship, the same knee-jerk judgment doesn’t exist, which makes it easier to develop a relationship from a place that feels more natural and authentic, adds Dr. Pataky.
