Every HSP’s “best life” is different, but they all lead to the same place: finding the purpose and joy that sensitive people long for.
Trigger Warning: The following article contains references to sexual harassment.
If you are a extremely sensitive person like me, you probably get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily. However, you are the first person a friend turns to when they need a listening, empathetic ear. After all, when they tell you about something that happened to them – good or bad – you feel like it happened to you. And you’re glad to be there for them.
You also strive to be happy as you live your own life. You will soon find that you need to mix and match experiences and see which one gives you the best results. However, here are some things that have helped me live my best life as a highly sensitive person.
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4 Ways to Live Your Best Life as a Highly Sensitive Person
1. Find characters, people and ideas you can relate to.
HSPs can find solace in connecting with characters similar to themselves. As an HSP, I enjoy watching movie characters like Ricky Fitts in the critically acclaimed film. American beauty. I like him because probably a very sensitive character.
Outwardly, he is an average middle-class teenager – obedient and responsible. But on the inside, Fitts is an extremely bright and creative young man who has recognized the narrow pitfalls of American society.
He is an artistand in one of the most iconic scenes of the film, he shows his love interest in a film of a plastic bag floating in the air. In it, she says, “And this bag was like dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that’s the day I knew there was life behind things, and… this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know I had no reason to be afraid. Ever.”
When I feel “different” than others, I find comfort in being able to relate to characters like Fitts. He captured a beauty through his lens that only a very sensitive person can. Like me, his character is written as someone who can withdraw in certain situations, but also wants to answer some of life’s more meaningful questions. More importantly, his character understood how so many people get caught up in looking for the “wrong” things in life.
In order to do this HSPs seek beauty that gives them greater perspective and may be discouraged by the cookie-cutter middle-class setting it depicts American beauty. Fitts imagines that a plastic shopping bag is some kind of benevolent force, that I’m not alone in feeling empathy for so many things around me.
2. Learn to avoid triggers, which is an ongoing process.
As I’m fast approaching the big 3-0, I can tell you that one of the hardest things for an adult to achieve is being able to learn, recognize and avoid triggers. By “triggers” I mean them little things that you have a negative relationship withoften because of past experiences. However, they can make high sensitivity work against younot thee.
It took more than a decade of practice and is an ongoing process. Some of my past experiences can quickly turn my high sensitivity into anxiety and fear, which are obviously negative.
For example, alcohol is my kryptonite. If you missed the He is a superior man hint, alcohol easily opens the door to a tsunami of my most painful melancholic feelings. And as a highly sensitive person, I often associate alcohol consumption with the violence and intoxication I experienced when raised by a parent who suffered from alcoholism. Similarly, booze is the liquid substance I consumed when I was sexually assaulted a decade ago—so definitely a trigger for meto say the least.
Drinking can also make you more sensitive from criticism and slipped into a black hole of paranoia: I will worry too much allbecause that’s what triggers do.
A highly sensitive person’s negative triggers are unique to them and not always obvious to them or their loved ones. Uncovering the root causes requires a continuous effort to get to know ourselves better. But the trade-off is that when you know yourself better, you can better avoid negative or toxic people, places or ideas that prevent you from being happy. joyful extremely sensitive person.
3. Get moving, whether it’s going for a walk or going to the gym.
Take an HSP who likes to watch TV and add the COVID-19 pandemic (including a bunch of restrictions and stay-at-home orders)… and you have a super couch. Besides being an extremely sensitive person, I’m also (deep down) one of those couch potatoes, so I’m by no means a fitness guru. Still, as a highly sensitive person, I live my best life when I’m moving and active.
Before I became a mother, I saw them working out and sweating like the overworked, overtired and an overstimulated reaction to a society that would always ridicule my body, a world in which my shape was never enough. However, after becoming a mother, I saw my body completely differently. I see the masterpiece I created, my son, and suddenly my body is a vessel to befrienda monument that must be protected and maintained. Well, I don’t worry about dress sizes; instead, I move because I want to always be able to give my son what he needs to live it’s his the best life too.
You don’t need a six pack or a gym membership to get moving and live your best life. Likewise, it doesn’t hurt to just stretch and walk more. If you do sweat, it’s the endorphins help us HSPs use our sensitivity for positive purposes. Whether it’s using energy to play with a child or giving yourself a chance to worry a little less about your health, the psychological, physical and restorative benefits for an HSP on the move are endless.
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4. Find your true calling and purpose.
Highly sensitive people are wonderful because we strive for greater callings that are greater than ourselves. As an HSP who always strives for balance I know in myself that I’m less likely to fall into the cycle of making ridiculously high salaries to try and buy my way to happiness – I have no desire to keep up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians).
HSPs can live their best lives when to find something that gives them purpose on a daily basis. This may mean, for example, that we do not earn much, in terms of income, but we still feel satisfied, for example, we take on a caregiving role. The bottom line is that a sensitive person can live their best life when they are doing something where they can turn their empathy and generosity towards others.
By the way, I know it’s not always easy for an HSP to find something that gives them purpose. Likewise, it’s hard to know for sure if you’ve found your calling. The best tip I can give to my fellow HSPs is to not overthink your purpose because of a previous negative and/or toxic work environment.
For example, I left during the epidemic my teaching job to complete an import and export coordination training program in English. Like many before me, I found myself quitting my job due to unethical and abnormal management practices that fed up with my sensitive self. However, I forgot to ask myself a key question: “Did I like what you did?”
I didn’t ask myself that…and before I knew it, I found myself in a highly technical training program in a profession that didn’t allow me to put my sensitivity to good use. After realizing that this job wasn’t giving me the purpose I was looking for, I found myself returning to teaching and finding purpose in teaching again. I learned through trial and error, and you probably will too.
The most important lesson I learned from this experience was that just because you’ve found something meaningful doesn’t mean others you work with have too, and that’s okay – just stay in your own lane. There is no such thing as a perfect line of work where everyone around you is compassionate and empathetic; does not exist. What matters is that you are doing something meaningful and using your sensitivity and empathy for good. HSPs can’t fall into the trap of overthinking what brings them purpose—despite we are so good overthinking! – because it is often something simple and right under our noses.
As a sensitive person who has been through a roller coaster of emotions and life experiences, I know these four tips will help me live my best life. I hope to inspire other HSPs to do the same. We HSPs are united in our shared creative approach to defining, seeking and living our best lives. While every HSP probably views their “best life” differently, I’m sure many of us would agree that it includes being happier and more fulfilled.
