A summer vacation with the family can be full for sensitive people. Here’s how to cope – and avoid being overwhelmed.
Two years ago I met a wonderful guy and fell in love with him. He has two fantastic children, now 7 and 9, and we have developed an incredibly strong bond. This year we decided to take our first holiday abroad and booked a week at an all-inclusive resort on the Red Sea coast of Egypt. On paper, it was perfect: sunshine, beaches, snorkeling, swimming. What don’t you like?
Well… just a nudge. I a highly sensitive person (HSP)and it changes a few things about vacations for me.
Being an extremely sensitive person makes it difficult to do “normal” things
As an HSP, I knew the vacation would be full, overwhelming, and often intense, as such things always are for me. I didn’t want to miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I knew I had to plan ahead and mentally prepare for the trip to give myself as much control and a sense of “preparedness” as possible. This is vital for a vacation because HSPs are easily overstimulated, not just by noise or sound, but by new places, new routines, and change. Holidays – especially family holidays – let’s push all our overstimulation buttons. (The “I need to take a vacation” joke is all too true for most HSPs.)
Luckily, I’m super organized… this is the strength of HSPs – and I switched to “perfect planning” mode. I started the packing list for seven in advance. I printed out all the travel documents and read the fine print. I carefully planned trips to and from the airport. I read travel blogs to prepare myself for what this part of Egypt was really like, and tried to soak up other travelers’ past experiences, picking up useful tips and tricks on currency and tipping. I nominated a couple non-negotiable buffer days on my calendar right after vacation, so I knew I could pull it off (and get on top of the laundry!).
It seemed to work. When the big day came, I felt ready! As the taxi pulled away from our house, I was very proud of myself for being cool, calm and collected during the run to the trip. Bring on the sunshine – this trip will be large!
But the best laid plans…
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What do you do when a trip goes wrong?
I confess: it was the sun and the heat amazing after a long British winter. There were swimming pools in the center of our resort, and the children loved the heated pool. (My partner liked that it had a swim-up bar!) The hotel seemed relatively quiet, definitely not at full capacity, and the meals were so spread out that the all-you-can-eat buffet was never busy – with something to suit all tastes.
But there was one big problem:
THE MUSIC.
At 10 a.m. on the first day, dance music started blaring from two huge speakers by the pool. It was so loud you had to cover your ears when he walked by. And remember: the pools run right through the resort. Our room overlooked them, and the sliding door to the balcony was, let’s say, less soundproof. As a bonus, there was music all day, until 10:30 p.m. every day
This means twelve and a half hours of continuous stimulation.
I found constant music wearing. It’s the noise one of the hardest things for HSPs to filter outand it was impossible to escape. It filled my head. I couldn’t sleep—neither concentrate nor relax—until the music stopped and the silence finally fell. At this point it became a bit of a downward spiral: lack of sleep can be bad for HSPs and makes us even more susceptible to overstimulation. After the first few days, I knew something had to change. And since the resort didn’t turn off the sound system, it had to be something for me. I had to find a solution.
Access to the pre-built “HSP Toolkit”.
Being an extremely sensitive person, I planned the trip packing up my ‘HSP Toolkit’; a collection of objects used in my daily life that help keep me balanced. These consist of:
- Noise canceling headphones — perhaps one of the best (but quite expensive) purchases of my life!
- The Calm application on my phone that includes meditations and sleep stories.
- Tried and tested audiobooks which help me fall asleep and quiet my racing mind at night.
- Books to read. One was a trashy crime story that I could skim through and the other was a deeper story that I could dive into when I needed an escape.
- A few downloaded TV shows which can help me focus on something relaxing and “turn off” my brain.
These items were a comfort blanket for me. I knew I could walk up to the room at any time and put on my noise canceling headphones, turning the sound down instantly. (I’ve even found that I can sleep in them, which was very unexpected since they’re so big and bulky and I’m such a light sleeper!)
But my “toolbox” contains more than just physical objects. This includes practices and customswhich can help the HSP handle an overwhelming situation and minimize overstimulation. For example…
How I turned my vacation around
As the week wore on and I had no choice but to put up with the blaring music, I adopted a few strategies to help me cope in the foreign space. Perhaps these will also help you if you find yourself in a situation that is uncomfortable and out of your control:
1. Be honest with those you are with.
When I I knew I needed some timei told them i would be alone in the room for a bit and we would catch up with them soon. The kids were disappointed and I had to try to get rid of the guilt it stirred up in me. In reality, however, all I needed was a quick ten minutes lying on the bed and calming my mind to get up and ready to go again.
2. Make sure you speak up and others consider your needs.
One of our day trips was a full day trip to an island and I knew it would be too much for me, so I spoke up. Instead we booked two shorter day trips and everyone was happy. The children could even see dolphins!
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3. Use a daily schedule to bring back an element of control.
This is actually very easy at certain resorts where there are set meal times and these really gave a backbone to each day. But you can also set your own schedule, setting the morning routine or midday rest, as well as meals. In my case, I made sure to stay away from the heat of the midday sun and took time to relax every night so that when it was time to sleep, I would be as calm and rested as possible.
4. Focus on the positive.
Every time I felt down, I reminded myself that we were only there for a week and might never go back. The weather was beautiful, my skin was starting to tan, everyone was having a great time, and the slides in the pool took me happily back to my childhood. Not every situation will have so many positives, but most vacations include something special—even if it’s overstimulating—and a chance to remember.
5. Learn and adapt for the next opportunity.
The trip would have been like this much better without music. Maybe on future vacations I’ll research resorts differently – and maybe even contact them to ask about their music and noise policy. (Also, I know my noise-canceling headphones are essential, and I might expand my toolbox to include additional noise-cancelling options—like earplugs for sleeping.)
As an HSP, I sometimes have it to do things that are not for us and it can be very difficult and have a lasting effect on our well-being. I hope this article shows you how much control you really have and that there are tools you can use to help. And I’m curious: have you had a similar experience? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
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