Disrespect in a relationship is not always loud. A few subtle behaviors prove that your partner doesn’t respect you and knows what he’s doing.
You may not realize if your partner is disrespecting you because it is sometimes hidden. Every few months I hear about another disrespectful tactic. Let’s just say I’m learning first hand and I can totally discuss these things to help others. While it’s great to help others, it’s also exhausting being a test subject. Maybe you’ve felt that way too.
Your partner doesn’t respect you when he does certain things.
Screaming or insulting your partner is disrespectful. And I think pretty much everyone understands that. But be careful. Even the kindest words can hide you disrespectful behavior. The key is to learn the hidden language, hopefully before it’s used on you.
Take a look at some examples of subtle disrespect. They can help you avoid pain and difficulty when dealing with others.
1. The silent treatment
Most of us know this the silent treatment painful and harmful to the relationship. But did you know it’s actually disrespectful? If your partner is giving you the silent treatment, he may be punishing you for something he feels he has done to him. And even if that’s not the case, they can use it to gain control and make you doubt yourself.
People who love and respect you don’t want you to endure such pain. Healthy relationships are built on communication.
2. Invalidation
Have you ever tried to talk to your partner about something that is important to you, but they just wanted to allay your worries? This is also disrespectful. Your partner doesn’t respect you when he says things like:
“It’s not that serious” or “Don’t worry so much.”
While it’s okay to try to help someone not worry, this is not ok to just shut down their feelings. Feelings are validand when one partner dismisses the other’s feelings, it is a form of disrespect.
3. Violation of your privacy
It is important to respect someone’s privacy. Going through their phone, bag or pocket is a form of subtle disrespect. No matter what your reason, it’s probably not good enough to cross personal boundaries and go through a loved one’s belongings, especially your partner’s.
If your partner is going through your things, maybe it’s time to reconsider being with this person.
4. You don’t take “No” for granted.
It’s pretty obvious that if your partner does something without your consent, it’s being disrespectful. This is true for all situations. No means no and its borders must not be crossed.
Constantly ignoring these boundaries is extremely disrespectful. This can also be subtle behavior. It can start by touching the arm after saying, “Stop,” or simply saying something that you asked them to stop. It starts small, but can escalate at an alarming rate.
5. Arming
You know the vulnerable things you say to your partner? Well, sometimes they can be used against you. Your partner doesn’t respect you if he brings up your insecurities during a fight.
In a healthy relationship, what you confidently say to your partner is protected, so they feel safe and loved. In an unhealthy relationship, everything is used as a weapon. Be careful what you say or do. Better yet, recognize who you’re dealing with and plan accordingly.
6. Unfair Contributions
When you start living with your partner, the tasks of your life together must be done fairly. One person should not shoulder most of the responsibilities. Unfortunately, the tasks are often disproportionate.
Your partner doesn’t respect you if they let you do all the housework and yard work while you’re trying to build your career. Then a lot toxic individuals as it expects you to pay attention to them as well. It is mentally and physically exhausting.
7. Making the most of all your free time
While it’s important to spend quality time together, it’s also important to respect your partner’s need for alone time. A lot of people in relationships fail in this area. But many of these relationships improve when we communicate this problem and try to change it. However, there are a few that do not change.
Unfortunately, some people simply do not respect their partner’s needs in this area. And your partner doesn’t respect you when he does that.
What can we do?
Well, first of all, you need to find out if you are being disrespected relationship. These are just a few examples of subtle disrespect that might help you take a moment to think about your own situation. If you experience these things, maybe you can discuss them with your partner.
If your partner is willing to communicate and work on this behavior, that’s a good sign. Therapy is always an option for those willing to improve. Seek professional help if you have doubts about your relationship.
While I wish couples could reconcile their differences, I also understand that sometimes it won’t happen. If not, then you have to make a decision: stay with them and see if the situation improves, or cut ties and start over.
I think you know the answer
Good luck and stay safe out there!
Staff writer at A learning mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple forms of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie treats a variety of mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.
