As an introvert, if you’re faced with an uncomfortable situation at work, find co-workers who feel the same way you do to become allies.
Like one introvertit is very likely that your workplace is not the cozy, low-irritation environment that you would like to be around. For example, if you work in an open office if people are constantly walking or wanting to talk, it can be a nightmare.
As a product manager for consumer goods, one of my tasks is to design our products. We work with a design agency and meet once a month for a big meeting. Over the years, I’ve managed to get through these meetings – but one part was just plain uncomfortable: presenting the first drafts of new products. Exciting, yet terrifying (as if to be they are forced to do group projects at school). There was a more or less unspoken rule that the responsible product manager (in some cases me) had to speak and evaluate the drafts first. Literally seconds after I first saw the drafts, I had 20 people look at me. Introverted in the spotlight? No thanks.
The next time the meeting popped up on my calendar, I got nervous and self-conscious (as usual). I decided to find a good excuse to skip it or postpone it – and ended up calling in sick. But next time I knew I had to attend and thought of some ways to make it more manageable. If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are some ways to survive uncomfortable situations at work as an introvert.
5 ways to survive uncomfortable situations at work as an introvert
1. Find allies and colleagues who feel the same as you.
The first step is to find allies and colleagues who feel the same way about the unpleasant workplace situation and agree that something needs to be changed. You may be wondering how and where to find these allies, but it’s easier than you think. Just use your own introverted superpower on observing others.
When the thing that needs to be changed happens (in my case, that part of the meeting), observe the people around you. You’ll probably notice that you’re not the only one struggling with this (ie you need to speak up and stand up to the group). Introverts are pros at reading body languageso watch how people act, how they move, and not just what they say, but how they say it. There are many signs that someone is uncomfortable. These people, who are struggling with the same problem you are, can become your allies in creating change.
Plus, you probably already have close relationships with some of your coworkers—and deep relationships, not just those idle chat and small talk. So talk to them about your struggles. They are likely to understand and support you.
2. Prepare in advance, which is an introvert superpower.
Before the day comes to change whatever you’re struggling with, you need to prepare. Fortunately, preparation is another introvert superpower that comes in handy right now. Have you ever imagined the absolute worst outcome of a situation? Will everyone laugh at you? Do they ignore you and move on to another person? Will you be kicked out of the meeting or the boss’s office? Yes, this is second guessing and overthinking introverted mind.
You might want to skip the prep step and just give up, but don’t. Again, since we introverts are so good at planning and preparation, use this to your advantage. Plan some well-thought-out answers and ideas. After all, we are much better off writing down our thoughts. In addition, this way you won’t get lost in “What do I want to say and how should I say it?” in his inner turmoil? because you are prepared in advance for worst case scenarios. You can also talk to your allies in advance to help you “save” and if necessary, they will also ring the bell. Being prepared really boosted my confidence.
3. Play fair – call the supervisors if you want to meet them.
There is one more thing on my mind. Please be fair. We introverts don’t like to be surprised with things that require immediate action or response. So return the favor and call your colleagues, your boss, or anyone you want to talk to. Give them a chance to prepare too.
In this way, you can help inspire a more “open atmosphere” towards your subject and speech. Also, any further discussion will be more balanced and (hopefully) produce a fair and lasting outcome.
Do you ever struggle to know what to say?
Someone asks, “Why are you so quiet?” A co-worker corners me when you are exhausted. A friend strives to plan you don’t have the energy for it.
Later he thinks I wish I had said something.
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4. Be authentic – the more passionate you are about the topic, the more people will listen.
The day has come – you’re prepared for your work meeting or presentation, and your allies are ready too. There’s only one thing left to do: Say what you have to say. This is by far the hardest, but another introvert superpower comes in handy here too. You like to have meaningful and deep conversationstrue? You like to speak your heart out about topics that really interest you, right? So do it at this exact moment. I know it sounds like it’s going to be difficult, but trust me: your colleagues will immediately connect with you on a level of true understanding – not just hear, but feel. The more passionate you are about the topic, the more they will listen.
And don’t be afraid to stumble over your words. I know what introverts sometimes find it difficult to speakbut you know what to say. No one expects you to give a perfect speech. If you get nervous or get off track, take a deep breath, make eye contact with your allies, and keep going.
It worked out better for me than I could have imagined. While I talked about how I felt at the meeting, how I struggled with the need to be the first to say something, everyone was silent. There was no side chat, no yawning. Instead, many nodded their heads as if relieved that someone had (finally) said something. And after I’m done? Volt applause.
5. Reward yourself, whether it’s your favorite coffee or a meal.
To speak up and it wasn’t easy to let my colleagues know what was bothering me, but it was worth it. Maybe whatever you do will make a difference—or maybe it won’t. But the important thing is to act and try, even if you question yourself in the process.
So be proud of yourself. This might make you say, “No, it was just a little thing—that’s what people do. There’s no need to be proud.” Bad! Be proud of yourself leave your comfort zone and for trying to create change. Be proud of yourself for doing something others don’t. (Who knows? He may have unwittingly inspired his fellow introverts to do something similar.)
Then take some time to reflect on the process and smile (or at least give yourself a high-five and reward yourself in some way, whether it’s a favorite cup of coffee or a meal). You deserved it. 
