For introverts, focusing on the present moment is the best way to get in the right place, right here, right now.
The next night, my husband and I were going round and round in our heads, debating a trip. This would be our first trip since the COVID-19 pandemic more than two years ago.
“Maybe I’ll buy the plane ticket now,” my husband mused. “Or… maybe we should wait?”
“Maybe we should drive instead of fly,” I replied. “What if we book it and have to cancel?”
The world seems to be falling down around our ears. For introverts who like the comfort of familiar things, to plan ahead he had never felt so insecure. Even the most beneficial decisions (like taking a vacation) are extremely complicated right now as we all struggle to regain our footing.
My husband and I are not unique in our tendency to overthink things. Introverts spend a lot of time “in our heads” – we are deep thinkers and enjoy looking at the complexities of life. There are many benefits to this aspect of how our brain works. The reality is that with a pandemic, the threat of nuclear conflict and an escalating climate crisis, we would be remiss if we did not carefully consider our decisions now. But there comes a point when contemplation becomes rumination, squeezing us even more than we might otherwise feel.
How did we get here?
Tin InstagramI share daily content for a community of primarily introverted people. What I gather from the DMs and comments is that most of us share similar early childhood experiences: we grew up in an extroverted culture and were encouraged to “put it on” as kids, to be louder and more “social”. There were many of us he was ashamed of being quiet and shy.
We know that now introversion is a trait that can be explained by the physiology of the brain – affects so deeply that we could never change it, even if we wanted to. But we didn’t know that when we were little. We tried our best to be something we weren’t (aggressive, gregarious, etc.). And for that we had to separate ourselves from the body’s signals. When our bodies craved silencereflection and alone time, we ignored. Instead, we sought to meet the external expectations of extroversion.
Also, if we were good at school, we were rewarded for brain-based knowledge. We have learned that it is safer and more acceptable to rely on what the brain tells us than to listen to the impulses of the body. Like the late one Sir Kenneth Robinson We pointed out that many of us have learned to see our bodies merely as a vehicle that takes our heads to meetings. And while this is a humorous observation, it actually has potentially harmful consequences for our mental health.
Out of the head and into the body
When we worry, overthink, and brood, we automatically leave the present moment. Either we get excited about something we predict will happen in the future, or we mentally replay something that happened in the past. To such an extent coming back to the present moment is the cure for overthinking – and the best way to land right here, right now, is to lean into the sensations of the body.
As a certified mindfulness instructor, who primarily works with corporate clientsit’s my job to guide overthinkers, many of whom are introverts, to present moment awareness. By the way, mindfulness is just that: paying attention to the present moment, without judgment.
Unlike meditation, mindfulness does not require you to sit stillclear your head of thoughts, focus on your breathing, or even repeat a mantra. That’s why you can practice mindfulness while jogging, doing the dishes or in a virtual meeting.
Sensations versus stories
Mindfulness allows us to just witness our sensory experiences as it happens, distinguishing between the sensations that arise and the story we attribute to those sensations. This is where anxiety comes from – when we feel a sensation and then jump into a story about what the sensation means. And since then introverts often excel at creative tasksboy can we come up with a good story.
Example: Imagine that you are about to give a big presentation at your workplace. You may notice that you feel very nervous. If you’re someone who tends to get in your head, you might start focusing on a story like, “Oh no! I’m so nervous and everyone will see! They’re going to think I’m not prepared. Maybe they’re right—maybe I’m not as prepared as I should be! If I knew what I was doing, I wouldn’t be so nervous! I’m a fraud…”
Now imagine you are in the same scenario and decide to practice mindfulness instead. You notice that you are very worried and nervous. You will wonder: Where in your body do you feel this sensation? He notices that his chest is tight. Your mouth is dry. Your heart is beating. You slow down enough to realize that the physical symptoms of nervousness don’t actually mean you can’t give a great presentation. You begin to look at the room around you and notice the details that bring you back here, now. Maybe a photo on the wall, or the feeling of your feet in your shoes. The more you do this, the more you notice that your heart stops beating.
Mindfulness reduces the emotional charge of stressful situations and frees up space for us to find the best way. We move from a reactive state (in which we won’t make big decisions) to a state in which we can respond from a calm and clear place.
The next time you find yourself caught up in a story (whether you’re projecting future danger or a past misfortune), try these three simple mindfulness exercises.
Have you ever struggled to know what to say?
Someone asks, “Why are you so quiet?” A co-worker corners me when you are exhausted. A friend strives to design it you don’t have the energy for it.
Later he thinks I wish I had said something.
I’ve been there too. That’s why I created it Confident introverted scripts.
That’s over 150 ready-to-use phrases time spent alone, protection of boundaries, energies, social life, etc. The guide is provided by feedback from therapists and introverted colleagues to make sure it really helps when your mind goes blank.
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Click here to purchase the guide.
3 ways to get introverts going when their minds are racing
1. Drink carefully and pay attention to all the sensations you experience.
Have a glass of water or a mug of tea, preferably warm or very cold. Take a quick sip. Now sit in a quiet place for a moment, holding the glass or mug. Notice how it feels in your hand. What do you notice about the temperature? Can you feel the transfer of heat or cold in your palm? How does glass or ceramic feel? Smooth?
Then raise the drink to your face. Notice how it smells. Do you feel the heat or cold from the drink on your nose?
Take a sip and hold it in your mouth. Notice how it feels and tastes. Which parts of your tongue detect taste?
Take a sip. Notice how it feels.
Compare this conscious sip to the first quick sip he took at the beginning of the exercise. what do you notice
2. Notice rest and relaxation around you.
Sit or stand where you won’t be distracted. Then scan your body for areas that feel relaxed. Maybe the bottom of your foot, the top of your thigh, your ear or your face. Notice how they feel.
Then visually scan the space you are in for images of rest. Maybe there is a sleep caresses his feet. Or in a corner of the room where everything is still.
Be quiet and calm voices. Maybe just a brief moment when the conversation stops or the car alarm goes off. Do you notice the sound of rest?
3. Face the facts about a situation, not the story your brain is telling you.
When you find yourself falling for a story, try to strip the story down to just the facts. Focus on what is happening right now. Let go of everything that is not in the present moment.
In the example above, in front of you presentation of workthe facts might be: “I am standing in a corridor”, “I am a person wearing trousers”, or “I am looking at a painting of a bird”.
Realize that the story you tell yourself is often out of touch with the facts of the present moment. Instead, focus on the things that are you to imagine to be true – either in the future or in the past.
Why is mindfulness necessary for introverts?
In my opinion, mindfulness is the perfect practice for introverts because it’s all about noticing. This is perfect for us introverts as we are naturally observant and observant. When we learn to direct our attention to the present moment, we lean towards one of our introverted superpowers.
Still, that doesn’t mean mindfulness is easy, especially in the beginning. Like any new skill, it takes practice. Just because I teach mindfulness doesn’t mean I practice it all the time in my personal life. I still often find myself snapping out of the present and worrying about the future or dwelling on the past—like when my husband and I were trying to plan our trip.
The good news is that mindfulness is a practice of both wandered off and returning the present moment. I always get it wrong. And that’s okay! This is the best part of mindfulness: the present moment is always here for us, waiting patiently, just when we need it most. 
