It’s not about what it takes for introverts to overcome social anxiety — it’s about how to make it where it belongs.
Today we are going to have fun and talk about it how to get rid of social anxiety as an introvert. But first, where are my Harry Potter fans?
Say you don’t want to drink the potion A blueprint for peace always on hand in the anxious social situations you find yourself in? By the way, it is the Harry Potter fan world beyond imagination — browsing the list of potions made my heart smile. The creativity and joy with which people enter this world is inspiring. it’s me it’s close to turn off my laptop, pour some tea and read the entire series in one day. But I resist the temptation because I have to write this awesome valuable post for you guys.
So, what does Peace Potion have to do with social anxiety? Although not directly related (but very handy in its own right), I decided it was time to develop my own concoction to overcome social anxiety. I love the word overcome for its definition suits the matter quite nicely: to master (an emotion, passion, or temptation).
What is social anxiety?
First, let’s define social anxiety – maybe you think you might have it, but you’re not quite sure. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), it’s not just shyness. Rather, social anxiety disorder is common when it comes to anxiety disorders and is an “intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.” Sound familiar?
So when you’re in a situation where this can happen—which is practically every time you leave your home, whether it’s ordering a coffee at a coffee shop or meeting new colleagues—social anxiety can set in. At a work lunch, you can be nervous when ordering (I swear everyone is watching you). At a friend’s birthday party, you may feel self-conscious because you don’t know anyone (and you may feel stared at as you fill your plate with appetizers—again—to avoid socializing). On a date, you can be so nervous about what the person thinks of you that you can barely say your preconceived sentences and questions.
As a result, you can begin to avoid unpleasant situations like this, which leads to the next point. We must overcome social anxiety before it overcomes us.
Overcome social anxiety before it defeats you
Let’s face it, we Introverts are probably the ones who brought social anxiety to life (through our experiences, worldview, and mindset) and now we’re stuck dealing with the devastation it left behind. It’s definitely something we need to master before it’s too late and before it completely engulfs us (and we never see another human again!).
Now I had plenty of time to dissect what it really takes to overcome social anxiety. I’ve been writing about this topic for at least four years now, and I’m very aware of my own reactions.
The truth is, it’s not so much about what it takes to overcome or overcome social anxiety—it’s about how to put it where it belongs. It will probably stay with you for the rest of your life, but it’s up to you how big an audience you give it. Remember, this is your own inner creature (what a beautiful creature you have created!) so it is within your power to keep it out of your interactions with the world.
You’ll know you’ve beaten it when:
- At the end of the day, you can no longer repeat your words (you can say things and get away with them)
- The first thought that comes to mind is not something like (I can’t believe I said that – they’re going to think x, y and z about me)
- Don’t forget your name or title when you introduce yourself (and while sweating profusely)
- Your biggest wish is not a canceled/rejected event or invitation (because you are afraid of having to talk to people)
- Your first reaction to a group activity is not to run and hide all the way to Zimbabwe (or Madagascar, or Australia, or…)
- You are free to ask questions in front of peoplespecifically strangers (even if it might be a “dumb” question)
Of course there are others signs that social anxiety is on the risebut I think they play the most. So, in my opinion, there are three main components to overcoming social anxiety.Come on, cook these!)
3 ways for introverts to get rid of social anxiety
1. Gather all your courage. (He’s hiding there somewhere!)
It takes courage to keep showing up, no matter how uncomfortable you feel or what external responses you get. With courage, you gain confidence in your appearance every time, even if I was beaten by social anxiety the day before. (Man, I can’t even keep up with how many beatings I’ve been getting) It will definitely knock you down, but if you keep popping up, you’ll take less damage in the long run. Remember, practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes you confident.
And as a strong reminder: courage helps overcome social anxiety. As a society, we definitely face much more difficult situations today (#pandemiclife), which means more opportunities for courage. Unfortunately, if you’re not willing to choose courage or bravery over resistance (in which case social anxiety is nonsense), you automatically choose withdrawal and abandonment. This, in turn, leads to zero growth and, unfortunately, in the long run, even greater disappointment – disappointment that your social anxiety dictates your life. For some reason, you may think that things are not “going your way”. But I would do it with a little courage.
Do you ever struggle to know what to say?
Someone asks, “Why are you so quiet?” A co-worker corners me when you are exhausted. A friend strives to plan you don’t have the energy for it.
Later he thinks I wish I had said something.
I’ve been there too. That’s why I created it Confident introverted scripts.
That’s over 150 ready-to-use phrases time spent alone, protection of boundaries, energies, social life, etc. The guide is provided by feedback from therapists and introverted colleagues to make sure it really helps when your mind goes blank.
40% discount For introverts, Dear Readers. Use the code TRUST at the checkout.
Click here to purchase the guide.
2. Counterbalances difficult or challenging situations with humor.
You need humor to laugh at yourself when you’re embarrassed or when things don’t go the way you expect (if you have social anxiety, you know this is a common occurrence). You’ll have a much harder time moving on from a “failed” social interaction if you can’t laugh about it. But, you can learn this skill.
Don’t take yourself too seriously and try to remember this nobody really cares about you. I promise: this is a really, really good thing. Plus, as a bonus, people like to be around light-hearted people who can laugh at themselves. It makes for a better conversation and less anxiety.
Imagine talking to someone who is frustrated with himself every time he slips up and thinks about what he said. You’ll be standing there worrying about the next time they’ll close. Now imagine the opposite. Imagine someone saying the dumbest thing ever, realizing they’ve done it, and then correcting themselves by saying “Ha! How stupid – I didn’t mean it to come out that way at all!”
Wouldn’t you rather be willing that person’s company more than the previous one? Yes, I thought so.
3. Take time for self-reflection to better understand the root cause of your social anxiety.
You need self-reflection understand the root cause of your social anxiety and how to minimize it when it appears. Yet, above all, self-reflection reveals established mental boundaries. It tells you when to push them and push them out. No, I repeat not push your feelings into the deepest and darkest corners of your soul. They’ll wither and come out through internal cracks you didn’t know were there—and they’ll be much stronger when they do.
Instead, allow yourself to feel what you feel and then analyze where those feelings are coming from. This is the fastest way to say goodbye to social anxiety. If you choose to ignore the truth and root cause, you give it power
Let me also point out that self-reflection takes courage. Too many people hide their emotions because they are too afraid – and unwilling – to face them. They are fully aware that they are doing this, rather than using the capacity for self-reflection to face the hard truth. The latter, of course, requires some practice. But trust me, it’s worth it.
When in doubt, mix these three “ingredients”.
These three ingredients are key to your quest to overcome social anxiety – so keep them in your back pocket at all times.
If you are faced with an impromptu social situation or have enough time to dread it, combine these three ingredients. First, it activates courage, which gets you through a conversation or an icebreaker. (You know you can do it because you’ve done it.) Second, the humor comes in because you’ll be able to laugh at anything that goes wrong. (Maybe you said “Good morning” instead of “Good afternoon.” You correct yourself, call it a silly slip, and use it as a self-deprecating joke next time.) Finally, self-reflection will tie it all together. (She will appreciate how it all unfolded, why she had the feelings and thoughts she had, and will do the right thing in the future.)
If I could, I would package this potion and be a millionaire. hahahahaha. (Or at least keep a vial in each pocket at all times.) But since that’s not really possible, all I can do is authorize you to mix these ingredients together. Come on… then drink them when social anxiety is present. 
