In theory, everyone says they want to be with an easygoing person: the perfect man he won’t arguehe doesn’t react too much and goes with whatever he wants that sounds peaceful. Lately, however, the Internet’s “plastic bag theory” has convincingly supported why these breezy, pleasant partners can be the most tiring to date.
The idea comes from a men’s relationship coach and motivational speaker Alessandro Frosaliwho compared some low-maintenance partners to plastic bags in a viral video. “You don’t initiate. You don’t plan things,” Frosali says of the plastic bag man. “Just go with the flow and wait for him to plan the relationship.” He goes on to put it more bluntly: “It’s practically what it feels like for a woman to live with a man whose spine is a limp plastic bag going down the river… It just goes.” Yes.
At first, this kind of “cold” can be tempting, “especially if you’re used to a fickle or hot-blooded guy, or if you come out with a chaotic relationship” Sabrina Romanoff, PsyDa clinical psychologist in New York tells SELF. “So the lack of initial friction is considered safety.”
But as you’ll find over time, “ease” can in some cases be a convenient cover for not caring—and less mental strain. If one has no real preferences, no urgent decision, and no instinct to act, then this misplaced effort will not disappear. Instead, it’s down to the other person in the relationship, who suddenly makes every reservation, initiates every conversation about the budget, or whether the relationship is going anywhere, and gets back to the thing he said he was going to take care of—while he, like a plastic bag, drifts merrily along.
According to experts, someone can be light without being passive or flexible while remaining engaged. In other words, just because it’s cold doesn’t mean it’s broken – there’s a line. So here are the biggest red flags that someone is a “plastic bag” man and the signs of a healthier partner to look for instead.
He doesn’t initiate.
Taking the initiative doesn’t mean being controlling or rigid, says Dr. Romanoff. It just means showing effort and investment without being asked. He should message her first, because he is will to speak He notices when you’re upset and makes it a point to bring it up before it becomes a full question.
