Last week, in our Zoom meeting, I started the meeting by sharing a list of ways you can feel even worse about the state of the world than you already do. It was a linguistic way of getting people to see their behavior from a different perspective. I wanted to bring the joke into this week’s blog because several people said they saw themselves on the list and were inspired to make changes. But after reading what I wrote, I deleted them. I worried about writing them and decided not to feed the beast. Still, it’s funny (and effective) on Zoom, so I invite you to check it out (see link below).
Speaking of changing behavior, last night after going to bed I discovered that my favorite heating pad had kicked the bucket. I had two and this was the second one that broke within a week and the company is no longer in business. As I wrapped the wire around the broken insert to toss it up, I was nervous. He is very nervous. That’s when I realized my overreaction and looked a little deeper. (You can also learn about emotional regression in last week’s Zoom)
I updated my iPhone software earlier today, but it turns out the change affected my phone’s formatting. This meant I had to relearn how to use certain apps like Photos. Frustrated, I was trying to find a picture for a friend and thought to myself: Things can’t stay the same for a while! Shortly after the episode, I went online to pay the bill and found out that the company had changed their website and I would have to create a whole new account. Too many changes.
While I realize these are first world problems, especially considering what’s going on in the world right now, I could see my concerns about the heating pad being relatable. A huge change has taken place in the last few decades, especially since the pandemic. Retail stores are closed, making shopping more of a chore than a pleasant outing. People buy food and supplies online, which reduces the likelihood of human contact. Endless streaming options have distracted us, making us more disconnected. And don’t even get me started on the wasted time creating endless new passwords!
Change is hard enough, but when it happens on a systemic level, during a chaotic time in the world, the little things start to seem pretty big. No wonder so many lose themselves to scrolling, peanut M&M’s, drugs and alcohol.
There are things that help. One is to know you are not alone. In every Zoom meeting I host, it’s clear that listening to others struggling with the same issues is healing in itself. You can almost hear the collective exhalation as we talk about the common challenges of the years of wisdom.
Even today, we need more space. Fewer activities in our calendar. A chance to breathe, reflect, and patiently consider what really matters when making decisions that bring about change.
And finally, we need to trust ourselves more. We’re taught to seek wisdom through blogs, podcasts, and online courses, and this habit of gathering information takes up valuable brain space. Once we reach the years of wisdom, we have enough history to draw on our own experiences first.
If you feel overwhelmed by the changes, I invite you to listen to the Zoom meeting. You may be surprised by some unexpected advice. You can view it ad-free on our website here.
Love,
Cheryl
