In the continuous process of teaching and practicing mindfulness, certain truths constantly resurface, simple but deeply foundational. They act as a gentle guide, helping to navigate between overwhelming emotions, compulsive habits and the constant preoccupation of the mind.
A recent conversation brought three such reminders into sharp focus for me and crystallized lessons that I return to again and again.
Practical, powerful and immediately applicable, they offer support and clarity in everyday life. This week, I invite you to discover these insights, use them in your own practice, and notice how they can subtly transform your response to each moment.
Sit by the fire of your feelings (not in it)
When a strong feeling of anger, sadness, jealousy, or grief arises, our instinct is to either completely immerse ourselves in it or run away. There is a middle ground.
Think of your feelings like fire. It’s not your job to jump in and get burned and not run away from its heat. The invitation is to sit next to him.
You can acknowledge the presence of the feeling with gentle courage. You can breathe and sense without running out.
Your practice: For the next three breaths, simply be close to the feeling. Be curious. Notice:
- Where is it located in your body?
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What is its size, temperature or shape?
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What message does it have for you?
Important tip: If the intensity rises above 7/10, gently expand your attention to the sounds in the room, the feel of your feet on the floor, or the flow of your breath. Return to the feeling only when you feel you have been resourced. This respects your agency and makes the practice trauma-sensitive.
Coercion is not a relationship
Doom scrolling, late-night snacking, overwork, these behaviors promise relief, but often leave us feeling emptier and less ourselves. Instead of judging ourselves, we can meet the urge with mindfulness.
The key is to stop and ask a simple, powerful question: “What do I really need?”
Compulsion is often a mistaken request for rest, real relationshipexercise or nutrition.
Your Practice: The Wave of Urge
- Name the trigger that starts the loop.
- Take 3 conscious breaths to create space.
- Ask, “What do I really need right now?”
- Choose a small, caring action to meet a real need.
For teachers and guides, frame this as a “24-hour curiosity fast” from a single micro-compulsion and invite a brief report.
Let fear reset your nervous system
During a total solar eclipse, the world goes quiet and even the birds fall silent. We don’t need a celestial event to achieve this feeling.
Devotion is also available in everyday life: the laughter of children, the steam rising from the morning mug, the wind blowing through the leaves. Devotion eases our preoccupation with ourselves and broadens our horizons, offering a natural reset to an overworked nervous system.
A short sequence for the whole thing
Here’s a simple 7-10 minute exercise to weave the three reminders together:
- Arrival (1 minute): Take 3 conscious breaths. Allow yourself to keep your eyes open, change your posture or stand.
- Sitting by the fire (3-4 minutes): Choose a current feeling. Practice being around him with curiosity, if necessary, expand your attention.
- Urge Surfing (2-3 minutes): Recall a recent compulsive urge. Mentally map the trigger → body signal → your choice. Practice a nicer option for next time.
- Awe Scan (1-2 minutes): Look around and name an unwritten, beautiful detail in your environment. Take a moment to give a short, sincere thank you.
Dive deeper with new podcast episodes
To help you bring these reminders to life, we’ve just released three new podcast episodes:
What should you teach first as a mindfulness teacher?
– Practical sequencing for early sessions, focusing on safety, choice and simple anchors. Listen Apple / Spotify
Allowing Space to Simply Feel (Guided Meditation)
– A gentle, supportive container to learn how to sit with the fire of your emotions. (To be continued. Keep listening Apple / Spotify
Guided Meditation: How to Stay Longer
– Increase your ability to effortlessly be with what you have with portable cues you can use anytime. Listen Apple / Spotify
If any of these reminders come your way, I’d love to hear what changed. How have you applied it to your own life or practice?
