I learned to work as an HSP in the city with the noise and embrace it like a swimmer floating instead of fighting the current.
As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), I found my move to the city profoundly disconcerting. I grew up in a state with more cows than people, dirt roads, general stores and neighborliness. My arrival in Philadelphia confronted me with crowds and traffic and a swirling cocktail of human emotions. My first few months there overloaded to me, showing how sensitive I am.
But to my surprise, it’s mine the next few months in the city showed me that thoughtfulness and creativity in which HSPs excel it can prepare us to live sustainably in an urban environment. If you’re thinking about making the move yourself, here are six strategies to help you thrive in the city as a highly sensitive person. (Or they can help support an HSP friend or partner moving to an urban location.)
Like what you’re reading? Get our newsletter just for HSPs. An email every Friday. Click here to sign up!
6 ways to thrive in a city as an HSP
1. Tuning towards the noise instead of away from it.
During my first six months in the city I constantly resented the noise outside my window. I invested in noise-cancelling headphones, a sound machine and the home workspace furthest from the street. At a writers’ conference, I complained that the noise was taking a toll on my creativity and ability to concentrate. My mentor surprised me with the question, “How about tuning into the noise?”
I tried to explain again why city noise was the problem. (What HSPs value silence!) But the question haunted me. What if my constant battle with city noise is part of the problem? Was my fight against noise working against my gift of sensitivity, like a swimmer fighting the current instead of floating with it?
I decided to follow this contradictory advice for a day, tuning in to the noise and its signals. The results were transformative. Behind the noise of rush hour traffic, I could hear the determination and dedication of nurses, art teachers and baristas. Behind the disturbing noise of the neighboring terraces, I heard the joy of a nine-year-old soccer player and a college party organizer and a dog digging a hole. Behind the confusion of townhouses, I sensed the interconnected web of relationships that binds my neighborhood together.
Tuning in to the noise of the city taught me to treat my sensitivity as a tool instead of a liability. I was able to proactively engage my sensitivity and this he humanized the noise of the city. And best of all, as I fully immersed myself in my new city life, I began to feel more at home there.
2. Understand the context – the more you do, the less overwhelmed you will feel.
As you tune into the noise and become more observant, you’ll notice demographic trends, random favors, and systemic injustices—all right in your neighborhood. The deeper your understanding the new city the less overwhelming it will be.
As an HSP, spending time people-watching at a coffee shop, grocery store, gym, or church can be helpful. When you show up as a student and ask questions, it’s you HSP superpowers observation notices things that others may miss.
In my case, understanding context meant exploring the history of my neighborhood, a journey that began when my partner found an arrowhead while planting onions in our back garden. We discovered it was our backyard part of it the ancient home of the Lenape, whose influence remains in the location of highways and the names of streets and rivers around us. Discovering the arrowhead rooted us in the context of our neighborhood and invited us to honor Lenape history and presence.
As an HSP, attention to detail is a superpower that can help you honor the history of the spaces around you and connect the past to the present when you find your home in a new place.
3. Focus your empathy on a cause you love.
As an HSP, you can become more aware of the systemic injustice, poverty, and pain in your city. You may notice needs others have overlooked or think of creative ways your neighborhood can address them. Your HSP’s strengths of attention and empathy can be an incredible resource just like you voluntary in your city.
However, knowing that you too have the potential to be overwhelmed or burned out, it is helpful to focus your empathy on one or two issues. One way to narrow down your options is to pick something you love and find a way to share it with others. By to engage in activism to which it is connected something you are passionate aboutyou can volunteer in a way that feels more natural—and less overwhelming—to you than an HSP.
A very sensitive person I know who loves to cook decided to volunteer at a food pantry and share her love of food with others. Another HSP who loves nature volunteers in her neighborhood on hike cleanup days. And the sensitive soul who loves animals they can walk a dog at their local Humane Society or create a local pet food pantry. Focusing your empathy on something you love can bring life to you and your city.
Need to soothe your sensitive nervous system?
HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload, and stress—and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you finally felt at ease?
This is what you will find in it this effective online course Julie Bjelland, one of the best HSP therapists in the world. You will learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end the emotional outpouring, eliminate the sensory overload, and finally make room for your sensitive gifts to shine.
Stop feeling held back and start believing that you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making changes today. Click here for more information.
4. Make time for self-care – and don’t let anything get in the way.
Amidst the obvious presence of pain in the city, self-care feels like a luxury. But just as the flight attendant reminds us to put on our own oxygen mask before helping others, we as HSPs must preserve our own well-being before we can sustainably care for others. When I literally type “journaling,” “coffee,” or “yoga” into my planner, the self-care, which is so essential to me as an HSP.
It can be found mindfulness exercises — such as meditation, breathing, yoga, prayer or journaling – to be especially helpful. Creative activities, such as painting, writing or playing an instrument, can also help us to process our experiences in the city thoughtfully. We can also connect with other sensitive types in our city through workshops—like a ballet class, a memoir writing seminar, a religious group, or a terrarium design workshop. If you start looking, you will find it.
I’m always sad to turn down a festival or pop-up restaurant, but seeing that it conflicts with self-care time on my weekly calendar makes it easier for me to stand up for my needs as an HSP. Bar boundaries must be set with others, it is crucial to set these for ourselves (and stick to them!).
5. Name your biggest sources of urban stress.
Some things in the city may actually be more stressful for you than for an HSP. It might help if you make a list of the things that are the most difficult to set up and work through these with a therapist or a friend. And don’t forget: It’s okay if you experience moving to the city more intensely than your non-HSP friends or family members. Remind yourself of this adapting to change takes time – and the awareness and creativity you bring to the table as an HSP will help you with this setting.
My enemy is, for example, parallel parking. I had to adapt and learned that it’s okay to park a little further from my destination if it means I have more room to maneuver. I’m not ashamed to call my partner and ask him to help me fit into an extremely tight space. Simply naming the fact that parallel parking causes me extreme stress has helped me deal with it better. I can laugh about it on good days, complain on bad days, and be especially grateful for the kind neighbor who saved the dent on particularly dark days. (If you’re reading this, thank you, Tim!)
Another HSP I know finds shopping overwhelming, so she decided to travel further afield after hours to a quieter place with larger aisles. Similar solutions can prove useful when navigating your own urban stressors. Even if you can’t make them disappear, just naming them and making a few small changes might be enough helps you cope with them.
6. Creating and visiting restorative spaces.
As much of a champion as I am at tuning into the noise, I still find it helpful to move away from the noise. One way I do this is by growing an indoor garden out of some of my broken pots (as well as some thrift store finds). The green plants blooming inside are a refreshing contrast to the brick and cement outside my front door. They create a safe space where I can let go and breathe.
Other city-dwelling HSPs I know have used lamps, books, and cozy blankets to create a library-like room or HSP shrine. Others used easels, paints and artwork to create a workshop space. Whatever your decorating mood, a comfortable, homely space will help you express your creativity and feel at peace.
Outdoor spaces are also invaluable to us as HSP, as are offered the how to recharge away from the speed of the city. It can be helpful to keep a list of local gardens, parks, museums, farmers markets, and other outdoor spaces in (or near) your city. If you’re still considering housing options, prioritizing outdoor space like a rooftop deck or proximity to walking trails can also help.
Blooming in the city
Let’s face it: the city can drain an HSP’s resources. We face the pull to be constantly on the go, draining our empathy, and chronic exhaustion from noise, people and pollution.
But on the flip side, our deep attunement as HSPs equips us to sustainably care for the city and ourselves. Our attention can be an incredible gift to our neighborhood and neighbors. We can represent a slower pace of life, a call to self-care and the possibility of imagining a more holistic way of being. We can bring our awareness and creativity to the city, contributing to its prosperity.
We also have a lot to learn from the city – it invites us to be attuned to the lives and needs of others and to care for the people and places around us. Cities are constantly changing and full of surprises, and this it can awaken our creativity and flexibility in unexpected ways.
So don’t be afraid, HSP, to tune into the city. I’d also love to know what you’d add to my list in the comments below!
