You can’t just “turn it off” when it comes to HSP. But your sensitivity brings five unique gifts that set HSPs apart. Is it worth it to them?
In our culture, hearing the word “sensitive” typically elicits eye rolls and nasty comments. “Oh, you’re sensitive? That means I have to tiptoe around you so I don’t hurt your precious feelings.” People have warned me with arguments like: “The world can be a cruel place – you need to grow a thicker skin.”
In our societyfor some reason the word sensitive has become synonymous with words like soft, weakor even difficult. And I know that nothing could be further from the truth. What Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) have many unique gifts which are valuable to ourselves, society and the world in general. Here’s just a fraction of what HSPs bring to the table.
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5 gifts of highly sensitive people
1. You can pick up things that other people can’t.
Overstimulation happens because our brain tries to absorb too much information and cannot process it all. This is so often seen as a negative thing, both by society and by other highly sensitive people. For society, I think it comes down to a simple lack of understanding how it really feels. HSPs can’t just “turn it off”. It’s like being caught in a tidal wave too strong to swim away from.
And for HSPs, I believe these negative associations stem from our own self-loathing and desire to be seen as “normal.” I am totally guilty of this too. We all probably have these thoughts: Why am I the only one struggling like this? Why can’t I be like everyone else? And when we call ourselves “highly sensitive,” it’s almost like an apology is stuck in our throats, locked up and ready to go: I’m sorry to be like this, I hate to be a nuisance.
But the time has come to stop apologizing and start talking about overstimulation help us. Yes, taking in that much information is extremely overwhelming. But it also means that I can see almost everything and see things that other people miss. I’m attuned to things like facial expressions, body languageand tiny little “tells”. I can see when someone is upset, nervous, or afraid—or content, happy, or joyful—even if they don’t vocalize it, and I’m able to tailor my responses to what they need. Because of this, I find that people trust me and are more open to coming to me for help or feedback.
2. You are an expert in conflict resolution.
Most conflict it comes from two (or more) people who can’t see beyond their own perspective and are hell-bent on forcing someone else to see things their way. As an HSP, I am attuned to everyone’s emotions and because of this I am able to see both sides of arguments. I definitely have my own opinion on who is “right” or “wrong”, but my high sensitivity doesn’t play favorites. So while I may choose to side with a certain point of view, I can’t help but understand where the other is coming from.
Let’s add to this that also as an introvert I hate conflict and confrontationand my first instinct is always to try to spread it. I can speak clearly to both parties without getting heated – I know how it feels to be frustrated when someone else doesn’t understand. I can empathize with even challenging viewpoints because I know that most people are open to changing their thinking if kindly and respectfully offered another point of view. My high sensitivity acts as a buoy of understanding and kindness.
3. Passionate – and proactive – about making the world a better place.
Most people often state how they want to “save the children”, “end world hunger” or “spread peace”… and then go about their daily lives without giving it a second thought. And there is no malice or cruelty in this act. People are simply overwhelmed by their own lives, and that’s understandable. We have so much to focus on and accomplish every day that the job is to keep ourselves and our families alive, let alone anyone else.
The exact same thing is happening to me. I’m far from perfect, and I’ve spent a lot of time comfortably in a privileged existence—while inadvertently forgetting that everyone else isn’t so lucky. And I think we should all be grateful for what we do do it it is and so are we should take the time to enjoy them.
That being said, I will never accept the fact that there are people in the world who are hurting, for whatever reason. And my great sensitivity does not allow me to pretend that there is no sufferingand he won’t let me say some empty platitudes just to appease my own ego without doing anything else. This is especially true if I see someone in need right in front of me: I have to do something to help.
So I think we HSPs tend to think of others before ourselves a lot – and do what we can. Whatever we do volunteer every week For a cause we’re passionate about (such as an animal rescue) or regularly donating to certain charities, I think HSPs strive to help others as much as we can.
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4. You find the beauty in it alleven the little things.
“Stop and smell the roses” is a phrase that has been around since the 60s, but I find people rarely do it. I think people wonder, especially lately, how a simple little flower can help when there seems to be so much going on. But I ask you to look at it from a different perspective. A “simple little flower” can be the only small one a bright spot you need in times of distress.
Because my high sensitivity feels things so deeply, I know all too well how overwhelming and frustrating difficult times can be. But luckily, it also means that I can easily remember how beautiful things can be. A “rose” can appear in your life in many ways – a few laughs with a good friend, a cuddle with your pet (after all, we HSPs have a special bond with animals!), or a comedian on TV who makes you smile for the first time in a long time.
These are all very small things, but we can’t forget that the little things take us further in life and mean big things. It’s so easy to despair and think: Well, the world doesn’t get better just because I had a casual lunch with my best friends. But it is, you see. Just because a moment of joy changes for the betterand when this shift happens in you, you pass it on to others in a way that you don’t even see. And it spreads and spreads and eventually big things change in a positive way. I can see the ripple effect and I promise with all my heart that it matters.
5. By nature, creative and open to interpretations.
As a child, I had a reputation for asking, “Why?” “Why do we do this?” “How about we try another way?” “Who decided that?” And so on and so forth.
I did well in school and was liked by most of my teachers, but I’m also pretty sure I annoyed some of them from time to time with my endless questions. And I was in no way trying to be a kid or prove that I know something the teacher doesn’t. Asking questions came naturally to me. That way I understood things completely.
I never do things just because ‘that’s the way they do it’. I want to try other ways, explore new possibilities and find out which way works best for me. And if there is a proven method, I still want to know everything about it. “Who invented it?” “Why does it work so well?” I never take things as they are because I see so many other possibilities.
Most HSPs, like myself, tend to thrive in creative fields that’s why – we’re writers, artistsmusicians, actors and many other creative pursuits. We need a place where we can try something completely new and unique and see how it goes. We don’t do well with rigidity. And this does not mean that there are no HSPs who, in a more logical environment or careers – there are plenty of people who do this. We all have shades.
The best way to explain my brain is like a forest with many different paths. Each path is different ideas, possibilities and questions. And sometimes my brain tries to trip them all at once, that’s when the overload happens. But if I have more control, I can do them one at a time. (HSPs excel at single-tasking!) That’s when I start asking questions and trying other things – I’m on an expedition to see if there’s gold. But if I can’t do that, it’s like slamming into a big, rusty gate on one of the trails. And my mind is not happy about it; regardless, he tries to open it, and I feel anxious and unfulfilled. It’s like trying to hold back a sneeze when you just need to let it out.
Embracing my sensitivity instead of avoiding it
I’m at a point now where I’m over being ashamed of my high sensitivity. I didn’t always see it as a gift. In fact, I considered it a handicap for a long time, as I expect many others do before they really learn, and they embrace their trait of great sensitivity in all its glory.
In fact, it wasn’t until recently that I really began to appreciate all the benefits of high sensitivity. I will never be a straight man and I will never stop asking questions. But that’s okay—in fact, it’s great. We need more people to question things. We need more people to notice the “little things”. And in particular, we need to stop operating in the world because someone long ago decided we “should” do so. This is why highly sensitive people change the world – and I am more than proud to be one.
