The art of making your weaknesses actually your virtues

Here’s an embarrassing truth: we’re all judgmental and we’re all biased. Over the past ten years as an MBTI® practitioner, I’ve seen the type evolve into its own weird version of high school cliques, except instead of cheerleaders and drama nerds, there are Intuitives giving notes about how Sensors are basic, Feelers wishing Thinkers would just hug something, and Thinkers complaining that Feelers are crybabies.

I’ve spent too many Zoom meetings watching one group eye with the other like it’s contagious, and that defeats the whole purpose of Myers-Briggs itself.

We all try to convince ourselves that our personal shortcomings are actually sophisticated lifestyle choices. But it really is a full-time job no advantage. We see someone operating at a level we can’t fathom, a level that would make our own brains leak out of our ears, and instead of applauding, we decide they’re a bad person.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take ours personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

How does this appear in different types (unless you’re more advanced than us):

Let’s start with INFJs and ISFJs. These types tend to see the awesome efficiency of an ENTJ or ESTJ and immediately decide that they are soulless automatons driven by spreadsheets and the tears of their subordinates. They call their blunt style cold and uncaring because they’ve been holding a grudge against their printer for three weeks now and “just buying a new one” feels like a personal attack. Their hard-working, get-it-done attitude offends the carefully selected contemplation or idyllic stability of IXFJs.

Then we have ENTJs and ENFJswho look upon bodily comforts and traditions as a dusty country which they once visited and found deeply boring. They look at an ISFJ or ISTJ who strives for their routine, body, comfort, and physical space and call it stuck. This is because recognizing the value of comfort and homeostasis requires admitting that one’s own body is more than a meat carrier for one’s ambitions, an uncomfortable bag of needs that constantly craves things like “sleep” and “food.”

ISTJs and INTJs are no better. They stand in the corner at a party, watching ENFJs and ESFJs create a cozy atmosphere, and everyone is diagnosed with a fatal case of the fake. They believe that Extraverted Feeling is merely emotional blackmail for the intellectually weak. They are secretly terrified that others have some kind of psychic connection that caused them to miss the registration, and it’s easier to assume it’s a conspiracy than to admit that they’re lonely at times.

Let’s not forget ESFJs and ESTJs who hear the mystical, overwhelming predictions of an INFJ or INTJ and dismiss them as useless nonsense. For them, Introverted Intuition is just a dream for people who are allergic to practical tasks. It’s much more convenient to mock their long-term vision when you’re scared of any problem that can’t be solved immediately with a sledgehammer or by looking up past precedents.

And now ISTPs and ISFPs. They watch an ENFP or ENTP generate a million ideas and all they see is chaos. They see a firehose of possibilities and call it a tragic inability to focus. They need something real and experiential; one concrete step, because the alternative is to admit that the universe is a swirling vortex of infinite choices, and that’s too much pressure for a Tuesday.

ENFPs and ESFPs he watches an INTP or ISTP dissect an argument with precise, hard logic and decides it must be because they hate fun. It brands Ti as a meaningless argument from someone who has never experienced joy. They reject the need for internal consistency because sometimes you just want to do something, and explaining why in a meaningful way is an existential burden.

Then there are ENTPs and ESTPswho observe the deep-rooted personal values ​​of an INFP or ISFP and call it a quirky hobby, like stamp collecting, but for emotion. According to them, Fi is only intentionally difficult. They can’t fathom making decisions based on their gut feelings about what matters because they navigate life with a GPS that only screams out the words “WIN” and “MORE.”

Finally, INFPs and INTPs peek out from the blanket fortresses at ESFPs and ESTPs who actually do things in the real world and call it shallow. They see that extraverted sensing energy, that physical engagement with life, and decide that it’s just a distraction for people who lack a rich inner world. But really, they’re just upset that someone can exist in physical space without mentally narrating their own clumsiness in the third person.

We call other people’s gifts ugly because it’s easier than admitting that we’re flawed. Perhaps we could all agree to be a little less superior, or at least recognize that our own uselessness is not a virtue. The holidays are probably less weird.

For INTJs and INFJs: Your Ni is a spell, but remember that the spell is useless if you can’t find the car keys. Let the sensors help you navigate the physical world. They are not boring; these are the reasons why you didn’t walk into an open shaft while you were contemplating the heat death of the universe.

For ESTJs and ENTJs: Your efficiency moves mountains, but sometimes mountains don’t need to be moved. Sometimes you just have to look at them. Let Feelers be reminded that people are not just resources to be optimized. You can’t reach a KPI with a hug.

To ENFPs and ENTPs: Your ideas are electric, but electricity needs a wire or it just lights a fire. Let the Introverted Sensors ground you. They’re not trying to kill your buzz; they’re trying to make sure your buzz doesn’t accidentally bankrupt you.

And to everyone else: Being weak doesn’t mean you’re broken or inferior. It just means there is room for growth, awareness and helping others. We’re all just weird, lopsided puzzle pieces trying to make sense. If we stop trying to mold everyone into our own mold, we would actually see the whole picture.

Or at least we can stop eye-rolling on Zoom calls, which would be a step forward.