Is there a very sensitive person in your life? Because HSPs process everything deeply, they can easily become stressed. Here’s how to care for them.
When I found out that I am a very sensitive person, a lot of things clicked. That’s why I I always felt different and misunderstood. That’s why I appreciate beauty and nature as well feel emotions strongly. That’s why I cry so often when I’m happy and sad at the same time. The list goes on. I had to work very hard to learn to accept it incredible parts – and the challenges of extreme sensitivity.
This is not always easy to explain either. Unfortunately, some people don’t even believe that high sensitivity is a real thing—or they just think you’re being “dramatic” or “oversensitive.” Some people just don’t get it and it sucks…but many do will.
If you’re reading this now to better understand and care for the HSP in your life, believe me, it means the world to them. Here are 10 ways to care for the highly sensitive people in your life.
Not sure if you are a highly sensitive person? These signs will help.
10 Ways to Care for HSP
1. Ask them what helps when they are overwhelmed… before they are overloaded.
When I’m too stressed overloadedor in a state of panic, I can’t really communicate my needs effectively. And that used to mean my fiance didn’t know how to help me. The result was it’s mine caused panic him panic – which didn’t really make things any easier for any of us.
So, I talked to my fiance about what to do if I end up in this situation. Often all I need is a hug and someone to listen or someone to be there for me. And personally, I have to remember to drink water (the more you can!). Now he can really help me in any way I need, even if I can’t tell him at the moment.
Let me tell you, it makes a big difference.
2. Let the HSP handle the atmosphere.
Most people don’t really care about lights, music or other external factors. They may prefer them, but they usually roll with it. Highly sensitive people are different – these things greatly affect our sensitive nervous system. Loud noises, bright lights, itchy clothes and more can make us feel very stressed and overwhelmed. Normally, we can’t stay in such an environment for long without burning out, and if we stay any longer, we’ll actually crash or become irritable.
The solution? If you don’t mind, just let your HSP handle the lighting and music when you’re together, or compromise. Another option: If the TVs are blaring in a restaurant, you can ask the waitress to seat you both in a quieter spot, especially if you notice that your HSP is irritated or overwhelmed.
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3. Be their advocate.
Nothing will endear you to an HSP more than standing up for their needs calmly, accurately, and wholeheartedly.
Many highly sensitive people, myself included, absolutely hates conflict or criticizing others and stopped at the thought. Yet we’re often in a position where if we don’t speak up for our needs, they just won’t get met—and people don’t always understand when we do. This is a recipe for anxiety.
If you can help your HSP deal with healthy conflict, please do. You don’t necessarily have to fight their battles for them, just be there to make things easier. It could be as simple as bringing them back (“Yeah, it’s really loud in here, can you turn it down a bit?”) or being the first to say something (“Sorry, but it’s pretty cold in here. Is there a way to adjust the AC?”).
4. Speaking of help…
Extremely sensitive as an introvert phone calls are stressful. Sometimes I feel comfortable enough to call and make an appointment if I need to, but if my fiance can do it, it really takes the pressure off. Maybe your HSP doesn’t mind the phone calls, but something else is causing the panic. Instead, help them do it.
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5. Learn their love language.
The five languages of love The brainchild of author Gary Chapman. The basic idea is that there are five main ways to express love, and most people prefer one or two of these “love languages” over the others. The five languages of love are gifts, physical touch, service, words of affirmation, and quality time.
I think knowing someone’s love language can be helpful any relationship. Their preferred love language tells us not only how they are most likely to express their love to others, but also what will be most meaningful when given to them. One person might be fine with giving them flowers or books (“gifts”), while another person might not be impressed, but would be very grateful for help around the house (“acts of service”).
While it’s useful for anyone, it’s especially useful for HSPs—both because we so often feel misunderstood and because we value deep connection with loved ones more than almost anything else. You know take this simple quiz to find out your primary love language.
6. Don’t get upset if your HSP suddenly goes quiet or even “disappears” for a few days.
Highly sensitive people are often mistaken for introverts. They not the samebut they have something in common: they both need a lot of quiet downtime. However, for HSPs, this is because we need time to process things and avoid over-stimulation – even if we are extroverted.
It’s just part of the package deal, and the HSP in your life will appreciate it if you’re cool with it. Don’t push us away to destroy the calm – give us space.
7. Be honest with them.
Many HSPs can cut through BS very quickly. Because our brains are was built on the processing of social signals and we easily read people’s emotionswe are like a walking lie detector. And because it is so obvious to us, we are deeply moved by the dishonesty. Do yourself a favor and be honest from the start, okay?
8. Don’t discuss politics, religion, or other touchy subjects unless the HSP is into that sort of thing.
Remember what I said about hating conflict? Arguing about opinions is the worst kind because it never gets you anywhere – especially on topics as exciting as politics and religion. (Also, if you’re sympathetic to the HSP’s view, you’re much more likely to get around them than to just argue them into the ground.) I know I don’t mind talking to a close friend about this, but if they’re arguing with someone who’s just talking about me, I leave the room very quickly.
9. If possible, let them prepare the plans.
HSPs can easily become overwhelmed and anxious if we don’t know the plan – whether it’s a night out or a complete travel plan. We don’t usually fly around in our pants, and that’s okay! On the other hand, we do it they are usually very good at planning activities and outings that everyone will love because we care so much about other people’s needs. So involve your HSP in creating the plan, or if you’re not the planner, ask them to take the lead.
10. Just love and accept them.
That’s really all we need. No need to hide from us or treat us like we’re different, just accept our quirks and love us for our sensitive, caring selves. I promise, your HSP will love and accept you right away!
HSPs, are there any steps I missed? Let me know in the comments.
