Most people imagine it alcoholics passed out drunk in the park clutching an empty bottle in a paper bag. But some alcoholics have good jobs, nice homes, and stable family lives. On the surface, they don’t seem to have a problem with alcohol. These are high functioning alcoholics.
It is difficult to notice their alcohol consumption because it does not interfere with their lives. And if you comment on their drinking, they will justify their drinking with the following excuses.
17 phrases a high-functioning alcoholic says to justify drinking
What is a high functioning alcoholic?
The typical well-functioning alcoholic is middle-aged, well-educated, with a stable job, partner and family life.
Not everyone follows the same drinking pattern. Drinking may be restricted to certain situations or times. For example, some people drink alone, others always drink at social gatherings, some drink every night, while others drink on weekends.
Whatever their drinking habits are, they are dependent with alcohol, but they give the impression that it is under control and use a variety of excuses to justify their drinking.
- “I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink on weekends.”
- “I worked so hard today. I deserve a drink.”
- “Oh, take it easy, it’s just a couple of beers.”
- “I’m not hungover, so obviously I don’t drink too much.”
- “It’s just calming me down, okay?”
- “That’s my only sin.”
- “I don’t drink every day, so what’s the problem?”
- “I never drink when I’m working, only when I’m done for the day.”
- “It’s my way of letting off steam.”
- “It’s not like I drink cheap garbage.”
- “The end of the week.” Why can’t I have a drink?
- “I’ve had a stressful day today, so I’m having a drink to relax.”
- “Everyone drinks in the office, why shouldn’t I?”
- “When did you see me drunk?”
- “It doesn’t affect my work, so why are you complaining?”
- “I’m not an alcoholic, I just like the taste.”
- “You smoke, why can’t I drink?”
Examples of high-functioning alcoholics:
- The partner who won’t have dinner with you because the drinking wears off the numbness.
- The weekend bar-hopping colleague always shows up at work on Monday.
- The wife always has several glasses of wine for dinner.
- A colleague keeps a bottle of whiskey in their car.
- That family member who always says they only had one drink, even though it was more.
- The friend who won’t come to an event if there’s no alcohol.
- This husband always has “a few” at lunchtime.
- The teacher starts every day with several vodkas.
- This friend can never have “just one beer”.
- THE parent who knows all the liquor stores in town.
- The life and soul of the party always has a drink in hand.
How to talk to a high functioning alcoholic
A high-functioning alcoholic may not realize or admit that they have a problem, but it is obvious to friends, family, and colleagues that they are drinking too much.
You may have tried talking to this person and heard the objections highlighted above. He could even make sure that their drinking was under control. But deep down you know it isn’t.
If you’re reading this, I suspect you want to help, but don’t know how to approach it. After all, this is a sensitive matter and they may not want to admit that they have a problem. Here’s how to approach the problem.
Remember to always speak with kindness and compassion. Focus on the problem, not the person. Choose a private place where you can both be honest and sincere, and a time when you know they will be sober.
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Tell them you support them
Start by saying you love and support them, but worry about their drinking and what will happen if they continue to drink.
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Tell me how worried you are about the future
He acknowledges the fact that they work, have a partner and a stable home life, but worries about how their drinking will affect those things in the future.
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Show them how their drinking affects others
Let them know how you drinkit affects people in their lives now, though they don’t see it.
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Be prepared for denial, excuses, and even anger
They may get defensive and say that it works so they don’t have a problem with drinking. But encourage them to think about how they rely on alcohol.
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Have the contact details of the support groups handy
Give them contact information for alcoholism support groups, treatment centers, or counselors.
Chances are that this conversation will not end well and they will be upset or angry. This is not a problem that can be solved in a single conversation. You will revisit the subject many times before the addict realizes they have a problem or are ready to help.
Let them know that as soon as they are ready to recognize the extent of their alcohol consumption, you are ready to help them.
Final thoughts
High-functioning alcoholics may not think they have a problem with alcohol. They argue that they can work and run a family home without alcohol affecting either. Like others, they do not associate drinking with alcoholism.
However, even functioning alcoholics stop functioning, so it is imperative that they confront their alcohol use beforehand harms their healthcareer and relationships.
Sub-editor and collaborator at A learning mind
Janey Davies appeared on the Internet over 10 years ago. She has suffered from panic disorder for over 30 years, which led her to study and receive an Honors Degree in Psychology from the Open University. Janey uses her own experience of anxiety to provide support and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.
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