When I discover, I am an empath and I became an HSP, an intuitive archaeologist who researched why I feel the way I do and how I can absorb everyone’s emotions.
I’m trying to think of the first time I heard the word ’empath’ or the acronym for highly sensitive person, ‘HSP’. I can tell you this much though – I haven’t heard much about it in many African American circles. Well, I’ve heard the terms “prophets” and “seers.”
He grew up in a spiritual environment packaged and ready for me to connect with my spiritual gifts – and as an adult, I had many questions (despite being a trained, educated and ordained minister). This led to the discovery of intuitive knowledge and gifts.
It didn’t take long for me to come across the definitions for the first time “empath” and “HSP”—which are fairly synonymous, as empaths pick up on other people’s emotions in the same way that HSPs do. I dug right into it, buying books, watching YouTube videos, and consuming as much as I could to fully understand what it was like to be an empathic, highly sensitive soul.
I first started by exploring the characteristics of HSP. I’ve never understood why my nervous system seems to crash in crowded places or after spending hours interacting with other people (which “HSP hangover”). I went to family functions and could only stay two or three hours before I had to leave. I would get home and be so relieved to be back in a place with little stimulation.
I just thought I was overwhelmed “I had no idea I was going to display it.” characteristics of the HSP trait. As I studied the connection to the nervous system, it all started to make sense. For years, I was exhausted from features and exhausted from long interactions. I finally understood the real reason, which was a great relief.
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Putting all the pieces of my HSP puzzle together
I then focused my research on empathy books and articles. From a very young age, as early as five years old, I was able to connect deeply with myself and others. Not only was I able to connect deeply, but I also had this insider knowledge of people’s struggles (and my own). I could identify the struggle, intuitively know where the blockage was, and strategize how to overcome it.
My struggles were much less dramatic when I was five, but at 10 and 15 they became more pronounced. People gravitated towards me and literally poured their hearts out. It was as if they knew I had the inner wisdom—and indeed, I did. There wasn’t a person who came to me that I didn’t have an answer for. Call it my HSP Spidey-Sense and intuition, but whatever it is, it’s a gift.
I felt other people’s pain too. At the time, I had never heard of the word empathy – I just knew that my heart ached when someone shared a painful experience. I knew it was a gift too, but I didn’t know what to call it. At times it felt like a burden – I would have it overwhelmed mentally and emotionally.
I struggled to accept myself yearnot even noticing it I had sensitivity. Then I realized: It was good to be an HSP and an empath like a Black woman! Let me explain from a cultural perspective. Within the black community, I have found that religion trumps spirituality. Being religious and calling myself a “divine” or “prophet” was more acceptable than identifying as an empath. Whatever it was it is connected to our spiritual being it was not considered mainstream. In other words, it was not accepted.
Also, sensitivity was seen as a sign of weakness and frailty – always taught to be strong no matter what! I learned from the other women around me to ignore my sensitivity and mask it with the Superwoman persona. But in my new empath/HSP identity, I finally feel it now released! I’d love to run down the street yelling, “I’m an HSP and an empath! I’m not weird! I’m fine! In fact, more than fine!”
How being an HSP has changed my life
Knowing that I am an HSP opened up a lot of things for me. I have already mentored and coached clients in healing and removing emotional barriers. Now I knew better how to use it my sensitive nature and empathic abilities to help clients see the root of their trauma. My desire was to be a literal intuitive archaeologist—excavating the true cause of people’s anger, finding the root of their anger. childhood traumaand exploring healing strategies for issues such as relationship breakup trauma.
However, during my liberation, I often did not see women like me. Rather, I saw a diverse group of women, and sometimes I was the only African American in the conversation. We weren’t excluded—it’s just that my culture didn’t fully capitalize on recognizing and owning them. beautiful gifts that you can thank a sensitive person. I tracked how women of color over time become leaders and excelled in organizations, politics, education, etc. at the forefront. Just look at Stacey Abrams or Michelle Obama! For me, this is amazing progress! However, many had to adopt a tough exterior to deal with many male-dominated circles. (Again, politics immediately comes to mind!) I think that sensitivity often gets sidelined in our quest to be seen and heard. It’s just not one of the more desirable traits for a driven woman, especially colorful ones.
At that point, I had a dual goal – not only to clients, but also to connect with women of color who share the same gift of HSP and empath. I felt like I finally found like-minded people, like we were finally at home! We all shared different experiences and gave each other advice, which was invaluable. I boldly mark HSP and empaths as gifts because none of them bother me or cursing, although it may feel like that at first. When you energetically absorb the environment you walk into – from the people to the space itself (every sight, sound, smellsyou name it!) – might not be very fun.
In other words, you feel intensely exhausted when you do too much population! I wanted to buy a t-shirt that said NO PEOPLE TODAY! Until I learned to balance my gifts, I considered both my empathy and my high sensitivity to be curses of the nth degree. Knowledge was the best thing I could do for myself. I didn’t contact a guru – I became my own guru and trained myself. The greatest part of it was that it did not undermine what I had learned in ministry and prophetic education. As a matter of fact, it added to my toolbox to help others heal, as I was naturally empathetic, intuitiveand deep listening.
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The highly sensitive me
As an HSP, I understood that I needed certain things. I had to give myself the grace to move away from perfectionism, for example. I found myself overloading my system instead of getting what I needed. i knew I needed certain environments — i.e. calm and full of peace they are – after being in chaotic. I also needed a stimulating conversation, not only that chat (and of course not for hours). Accordingly, I had to insert my drainage meter and know when to go. It didn’t take anything away from my life – it just added more light. This HSP me has opened so many new chapters in the book of my life.
And I knew that as the new chapters unfolded, I didn’t expect anyone to understand. Even when I didn’t know other women of color who were like me, I was able to stand in my power—which ultimately helped win other women of color over to find their sensitive side. We just expanded together. We spoke the same language and began to bond around our sensitive traits. At first I felt quite lonelybut not necessarily alone. I was one with Spirit and that lasted until I connected with others. Now I’m glad to see other women like me working with women from different cultures and it’s invigorating!
Empath Me
As an empath, I understood for the first time that I had to rest! Not just at night – HSPs do it you need more sleep like non-HSPs—but resting in my purpose. I looked at myself in the mirror several times as I learned how to do it correctly, side-eye. It took time because resting was not my forte. I mean, I was a single mom of two boys (need I say more?). Although they are now adults and have their own goals, my earning time was during their upbringing. But I had to support my empathic path…
I started a meditation and mindfulness routine regularly. I started to become more aware of how much I pour out so that it doesn’t run on empty. I’ve learned that I’m not anyone’s savior, and I’m certainly not Superwoman. I also learned to eat organic to be in natureand the exercises have helped my empathic journey in a phenomenal way. Empathetic, highly sensitive person, or both, these are essential in life.
Another amazing thing I did to support my empathic journey was to deciding what types of relationships I needed in my life. I decided that I liked being single, but I also enjoyed being in a relationship. I decided that I didn’t need to live together or remarry – I had built satisfying relationships outside of those bonds. I wanted to enjoy life, but not in the way that society dictates. My ultimate goal was to a free empath in every way.
In a nutshell: I have fully embraced being an HSP and an empath. I was born a beautiful black woman, embraced in a way that happened years ago. I know that I have not only a cultural contribution, but also an intuitive nature. My sensitivity, grace and compassion for others gives me many opportunities for connection and appreciation. I add value to every conversation, bring healing into my life that is touched and truly really it’s okay authentically me! I stand boldly with other women of color who have embraced these powerful gifts. We know that we are on earth to share our true purpose and spiritual intent. we are love and light in the shadow of darkness. And if you’re an empath and/or HSP, you are too. Don’t forget it.
You might also like:
- 13 Signs You’re an Empath
- The difference between introverts, empaths and highly sensitive people
- These 8 things bring peace to highly sensitive people
The post I’m black, I’m empathetic, and yes, we exist appeared for the first time Sensitive shelter.
