Superman hears the tiniest pin drop from afar. Do HSPs know something similar—and more?
It’s always hard to explain what it’s like to be a highly sensitive person to someone who’s never heard of it. And even if they do, if they are not very sensitive themselves, they often do not “get it”. Most people think that we are “too sensitive,” that we need to “toughen up,” or that we can turn our sensitivity off and on. But we can’t.
And it’s especially hard when it’s a loved one. For example, my father, like most of us, grew up thinking that sensitivity is a sign of weakness and should be avoided. One of the biggest challenges in explaining high sensitivity is convincing others for the very first time that it is a strength, contrary to what we have been taught.
So I always try to find simpler, more relatable ways to describe what it’s like highly sensitive person (HSP). Some of them work and some don’t. The best yet? Superheroes.
Yes, being a highly sensitive person is a superpower
“We are able to perceive all our senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch in a magnified way,” I explained to my father. “You know how Superman can hear the tiniest pin from afar? It’s almost like having superhero perception without the super speed or ability to fly.”
“Hmm,” he replied, giving a small nod. Although he was focused specifically on television at the moment, I knew I had piqued his interest by mentioning his number one favorite superhero of all time.
“If you’re highly sensitive,” I continued, “everything you experience is heightened. You notice even the smallest changes. Small sounds like the ticking of a clock become loud. The smell of a person’s cologne or perfume may be three times stronger and more nauseating to you, but pleasant to others. And when I talk to people . . .”
I hesitated. This next part wasn’t easy.
Highly sensitive people can read like an open diary
The concept of sensitivity itself is something that most people can consider. The hard part is trying to explain how these skills work in my interactions with people. This is also the part that tends to make people do it uncomfortable when I share.
But this time I continued urgently:
“Sometimes I do knowing things about people without them telling me. I don’t read minds, but I know when I’m being lied to or when someone is making me happy when they aren’t. I pass by the masks people wear. I know their intentions, their hearts, their fears. I have no reason to know, I just know.”
I could sense his body language just then, inevitably changing from half-curiosity to simple discomfort. He sat and thought for a moment, and though he did not say a word, I felt I knew what was on his mind: He says he sees beyond the masks people wear. If that’s true, that includes me. What do you see on me? Do you know all my secrets?
I probably shouldn’t have said anything. This “Superpower” is better left out, I thought; it freaks people out and rightfully so. (The last time I tried to tell a family member, they thought I was possessed.) It’s almost like reading someone’s diary without their permission and confessing to them – except for a highly sensitive person, it’s more like leaving their diary wide open, with all the important parts in bright highlighter.
But I understand the defensiveness, vulnerability, and even shame they feel. Who wants to be exposed by another human being with a single glance or conversation?
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Yes, even science fiction has HSPs
My father had another big question for me. And he was a jerk.
“You know when I’m not telling the truth?” he asked.
Say no!
“Yeah,” I said slowly, “I’m just pretending not to.”
I waited, braced for a backlash of disbelief and criticism.
But he nodded. “I believe it,” he said. “It’s like Charlie X from Star Trek. He had these advanced powers, but he was human. And Captain Kirk couldn’t do anything about him because he had the power to destroy the entire ship.”
WaitI thought… What?
“Watch this,” he said and continued posted the episode he thoughtwith a sudden burst of energy. His eyes were now shining with urgency, just like mine had been a few minutes earlier. It was urgent for me to want him to understand. For him, it was urgent to show that he had finally succeeded.
Spoiler alert: Charlie X was banished from the ship for abusing his powers, turning people into frogs, making them disappear, melting chessboards, and the like.
I wish I had the strength to go to that extreme! *evil laugh*
But alas no, I told him; a sensitive person’s greatest superpowers compassion and empathy.
“Just use your powers for good. Whatever you do, use it for good,” repeated my father, sounding like the wise old man in almost every sci-fi, comic, or fantasy known to man.
I agreed and nodded like a good student. I could sense that he understood and he sighed in relief. After several failed attempts to explain the high sensitivity to people, I finally had a breakthrough.
And all it took was a little Star Trek.
High HSP performance comes with high HSP responsibility
I’m not saying that my sci-fi examples are the right ones for every situation. But often when an HSP tries to explain their sensitivitythere is a lack of a common lexicon of experiences to which less sensitive people can relate. If we turn to the characters of fiction, we can immediately understand this understanding. For one person, it could be Charlie X; for the other, it might be Neville Longbottom.
It’s not easy to share what it feels like to be a highly sensitive person. But if I could, I would say:
Feeling everything so deeply and intensely is as joyful as it is overwhelming.
And I feel a huge responsibility towards the world for that. It’s like carrying the weight of human experience; all good and all evil, light and darkness, and everything in between. If humanity is a long spectrum, highly sensitive people are accountants, observers, gaugers, feelers, healers, and seers of truth.
And what we see is: people are complicated. Life is fragile. Love and compassion are necessary. Kirk out.
