“No feeling is final.” – Rainer Maria Rilke
Tthere is no such thing as an inherently “bad” emotion. The ability to experience a wide range of emotions is a natural, healthy part of being human. However, most of us know that many emotions can be incredibly uncomfortable, while many others seem universally desirable. It is also natural that it is afraid of emotions sometimes. Consider that part of your ability to truly experience the richness of joy and love is inexplicably tied to your ability to experience the depths of despair and sadness.
In many ways, this is both the desirable and the aversive nature of them strong emotions which are two sides of the same coin. When we experience too much intensity at either end of an emotional spectrum, it can dull positive or negative qualities. Think about what it’s like to feel intense sadness for so long that it becomes “normal,” or to feel extreme joy for so long that you take it for granted. Either way, it would be understandable if we no longer see the big picture in the natural peaks and valleys of human emotions. Grounding exercises can help us return to the balanced present moment with a greater sense of calmness and ease.
The mindfulness skill of grounding
Learning to use a the skill of grounding Self-soothing is an incredibly helpful way to regain emotional balance or equilibrium. This means that we adopt a mindful attitude as we deliberately shift our focus from the inner to the outer. By looking outside of ourselves in times of emotional intensity, we can begin regain a sense of calm and centrality. By being grounded in the present moment, we are less likely to act impulsively on our emotions and instead consciously act from the integration of emotion and reason… wise mind.
Mental grounding:
- Describe your external environment in detail (e.g. “The walls are blue. There is a brown wooden table with four chairs”)
- Mentally categorize items in your mind (e.g. colors, songs, books, movies)
- Write it down a daily activity or task in detail (e.g. “When I get ready for bed, I turn on the water first to take a bath”)
Physical grounding:
- Splash cold water on your face activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS)
- Press your feet hard into the floor and notice the physical pressure
- Carry a small grounding object in your pocket that you can touch whenever you feel emotionally out of whack or triggered.
Emotional foundation:
- Exercise self-compassion and self-forgiveness by repeating a calming statement mentally or out loud
- Talk to yourself in a kind way, as if you were talking to a small child who is feeling anxious
- Visualize the people you care about and imagine them offering you love, compassion and support
Consider which aspects of foundation might be particularly helpful to you, given your own circumstances, experience, and inclinations. You know yourself best. By starting to pay attention to the times when you feel out of balance, you can gradually learn to become more attuned to the times when practicing a grounding exercise can be especially helpful.
Navjavits, LM (2019). Finding Your Best Self: Recovery from Addiction, Trauma, or Both. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.
Featured Image: Balance by Richard Petrosino / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
