There’s a reason others look to you when the going gets tough.
I grew up and well into my twenties without knowing it high sensitivity. I only knew what I felt in the world. And I often felt overwhelmed, lonely, and not quite belonging to planet Earth.
Looking back, with the knowledge and information I have now, it’s easy to see that a lot of what I struggled with in my life was related to my very sensitive nature.
For example, I had a hard time in college because most of the experiences were in direct conflict with my needs as a highly sensitive person – although I didn’t know it at the time.
In an effort to fit in, I went to nightclubs, hours of loud music, and felt completely awkward among so many people who all seemed to be having a good time. I remember going back to my dorm room at the end of nights like this, closing the door behind me, and falling to the floor crying, wondering what was wrong with me.
The same thing happened in my career. When I started working in corporate London, the bright overhead lighting, the open plan office structure and constant interruptions from colleagues left me feeling drained at the end of the day.
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Yet relationships were confusing. I longed for them, but once they were there, I never felt like I had enough room. The people I dated always seemed to want more time with me than I could give them, and I felt endlessly suffocated.
That’s why it’s incredibly beautiful when something appears in your life that gives voice to your experience in life, confirming what you’ve felt for years, but couldn’t express in words.
That’s how I felt when I learned about high sensitivity – and realized for the first time that my personality can have not only downsides, but also gifts.
“I began to understand that high sensitivity, far from being a fault, is actually a gift from God.”
There is nothing “wrong” with you
This happened to me when I got hold of Dr. Elaine Aron’s book, The highly sensitive person. He told me that about 1 in 5 people are born with a slightly different nervous system, one that processes everything more deeply. That these highly sensitive people are overstimulated and overworked for some reason – because of the work their brains and nerves are doing. And yes, according to the signs, I am one of them.
Reading this book was like taking a deep breath. It was simply a relief to know that the way I experienced the world was valid, that there was nothing “wrong” with me, and that others had similar experiences.
But it was more than that. Discovering more about hypersensitivity has allowed me to see it in a positive light and slowly realize that what up until now seemed like a curse in my life perhaps my greatest gift.
Over time, my appreciation for my highly sensitive nature grew. And slowly I was able to take full control of it. In my head, instead of hearing people say, “It’s you too sensitive,” I began to notice people telling me things like, “I’m so moved by the beauty of the world; it’s great.”
I began to understand that high sensitivity, far from being a fault, is actually a gift from God. Something that certain people are born with, and when properly understood, can be used for incredible good.
“The combination of depth of emotion, spiritual insight and creativity results in art that is far beyond the human intellect.”
4 gifts that highly sensitive people bring to the world
I believe that the gifts of highly sensitive people can manifest in the world in an infinite number of ways. Here are the four most transformative:
1. You can create art that heals.
Highly sensitive people have deep feelings. They notice the extraordinary beauty in the mundane things of everyday life that others often miss. They see, hear, feel and smell things that others do not. A highly sensitive person can be immersed in a bird song, a raindrop or a smile for hours.
They often have a deep connection with the spiritual as well, and often are incredibly creative. This combination of depth of feeling, spiritual insight and creativity results in art that is far beyond the human intellect. Whether it is through words, painting, dance, music, or anything else, this art is one that moves the souls of others and touches them in a way that truly heals.
This is precisely why so many famous creatives, from artists like Frida Kahlo and Vincent van Gogh to musicians like Drake and Bruce Springsteen, are considered highly sensitive.
2. People feel safe sharing things with you that they haven’t (and maybe never will) share with anyone else.
Highly sensitive people do not shy away from their shadow side. They are, and often are, explorers of their inner world they know their pain deeply. Because they have explored so deeply and honestly, they are often people who are able to give space to others to explore themselves in a similar way, while never feeling judged. In other words, people feel safe around us.
To offer this space to another person, whether as a friend or in a professional capacity, is an incomparable gift.
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3. People feel heard, seen and understood in your presence.
As humans, we long for someone to truly see and understand us. We want to get to know you, deeply. Highly sensitive people can’t help but really “see” people. As empathsthey are extremely attuned to the momentary needs of others. They pick up cues that others don’t and read between the lines.
People value spending time with highly sensitive people because they feel seen, heard, and understood in a way they often don’t around others.
4. Guidance for you or others.
If you’re a highly sensitive person, it’s easy to assume that everyone sees the world the way you do, but of course they don’t.
Because highly sensitive people spend more time than others reflecting on life’s big questionswhen they notice things that others don’t and make connections between seemingly unrelated areas of life, they are often seen as wise and insightful people. And they often end up helping guide others who are searching for answers. It can be as complex as the work done by a therapist, or as simple as a few thought-provoking words when someone pours out their feelings to you.
In a world where so many people feel lost and out of touch with their true selves, such leaders are rare—and people naturally seek them out.
Having sensitivity is the most powerful thing you can do
When you feel that your highly sensitive traits are negative aspects of who you are, you minimize them, try to cover them up, and work to be more like “other people.”
But when you see your highly sensitive qualities as beautiful gifts to the world, you begin to prioritize them and use them for guidance. This creates a life that not only celebrates your sensitivity, but also powerfully serves others.
And as highly sensitive people, we are trained to help others and walk with them on their healing journey.
